


Betrayal is as Bitter As Your Soul

by SleepingInTheMeadow



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:20:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 26,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26217028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepingInTheMeadow/pseuds/SleepingInTheMeadow
Summary: Rumplestiltskin turns the tables on Regina and the kingdom ends up in a twisted version of the curse, where their cursed persona’s are renamed, mixed, and matched.
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	1. This Isn’t How it Works

**Author's Note:**

> I am in the process of transferring my previously-written stories from FF.Net to here, so this is the first uploaded story. Please send feedback and I hope you enjoy!

Regina 

Mr. Gold is a bitch. He is a stone-cold traitor. He had the _audacity_ to toy with me. He made me cast his curse, and yet I still suffer. He promised me power over Snow White, but not like this.

She was supposed to be a submissive, quiet schoolteacher, and here she is, dressed in all red, bouncing around the diner in skimpy shorts nursing a hangover. He mixed up everyone's cursed persona's on purpose and he can rot in Hell for all I care.

I apparently run the Rabbit Hole, because instead of finding myself in a beautiful house in charge of the small town of Storybrooke, I awoke in a small bed in an even smaller apartment, where 'Riley' works for me. Except it isn’t supposed to be Riley, she's supposed to be the red waitress at the diner, Ruby. Instead of being named Mary Margaret by the curse, she's Melanie. I can only thank the gods for not making my curse name Frankie or something. I'm also not sure why I’m named Roni, but again, I’m incredibly thankful for my luck. It isn’t just us in our specific predicament—except nobody knows they're playing the wrong pawns—either. 

Prince Charming isn’t in a coma. He's teaching a class of ten-year olds at Storybrooke elementary. Rumple’s little bookworm girlfriend is Lacey, the neighborhood therapist, Leroy is our not-so-trusty sheriff, Archie is the arrogant doctor flaunting his fake medical license, Granny is biding her time in the psychiatric ward, that snivelling princess with the “twins” is currently asleep for twenty eight years, My huntsman is a drunk maintenance worker or something, Frankenstein was in charge of the pawnshop, and lo and behold, Gold is the mayor. I’m sure there are many other people in different roles, but none were important.

I’ve tried to complain to him numerous times about his mix-up, but he tries to convince me I’m the crazy one. _He's_ crazy if he thinks he can get away with this, and I try to remind him everyday he makes his way inside for a glass or two of scotch and to flirt with Lacey. For being a therapist, I wouldn’t expect her to be a regular to the roughest and only bar in town, but she is. Small snippets of their originally designated personalities shown through in bits, and it was always fun to watch everyone struggle. Even if 'everyone' included me.

I didn’t mind being a bartender, as long as I wasn’t stuck in that basement. I’d say 'poor Granny', but she got what she deserved. Today was a Tuesday, so I had most of my morning free. Because my apartment didn’t have a washing machine, I took a garbage bag of dirty clothes to wash at the inn. Sidney always let me use it. I'll have Gold's head for this. Instead of the diner being called 'Granny's,' the curse renamed it 'The Looking Glass Diner and Inn.' I also wanted to talk to the people naming some of these places. 

I dragged my bag through the screen door and dug around for the cheap, mediocre-smelling detergent. After I got my clothes in the machines, I fixed my hair in a grimey mirror before heading into the diner for breakfast. My looks were different, but I really liked them. My hair was curled just above my shoulders, my lips were covered in my crimson lipstick, nothing new there, tattoos covered my shoulder, wrist, and I’m sure other parts of my body, and I was wearing a Led Zeppelin t-shirt, a necklace with no pendent or diamond, jeans with rips in the knees, and black sneakers. Not my first choice, but it looked good. 

Once I walked into the diner, I was immediately greeted by 'Ruby' and her revealing red outfit. She followed me to the seat I took everyday, and already wrote down my usual order of black coffee after a night of straight vodka.

A few people were already in the diner reading the papers with a poorly written story on the front page, covering anything they could find within the town. This week was a car crash and a woman found on the side of the road, labelled as a Jane Doe and currently in a coma in the hospital.

I could hear Sidney ordering ‘Ruby’ around in the kitchen and her talking back. A small child and his mother were sitting in a booth in the back sharing pancakes, and never had I felt so invisible.

After Melanie brought my food and coffee, she hopped back around the counter and placed a batch of pastries into the food case. I caught her staring at me through the glass and I didn’t break her gaze until she looked away and hurried into the kitchen once more. After eating, I had two hours to get back to the bar, so I went back to put my soaking wet clothes into the dryer.

I waited around in the diner for a half hour at a stool against the counter, holding another mug of coffee close to my chest. After that was all done, I packed them back into my bag and left. It was chillier than when I left the house. I brushed past James carrying grocery bags and waved to Lacey walking her Australian Shepherd, Pevensie.

On the surface, this town was beautiful, homey, and welcoming. I knew from experience, it never has been, and it can only go downhill from here. I burst through my bedroom door and flung my garbage bag onto the bed before grabbing my keys and my wallet, rushing back out the door.

Riley was just unlocking the doors when I arrived, breathless, but still on time. If she knew I was there, she didn’t pay any attention to me. She quickly wiped down the counters before customers trudged inside and ordered.

I pushed through my numbing headache and slid bottles of beer across the counter to waiting men on the other side. I overheard conversations and even had weary conversations with customers about divorces, tough jobs, or whatever the hell they talk about; I never really listen closely, except when they flirt. That's when I take their keys. Riley was making food today. We always switch every other day, but my cooking isn’t nearly as good as hers and she never likes talking to the customers anyways. She balanced plates of mozzarella sticks and deep-fried pickles on her slender arms, as I filled shot glasses and drowned out the voices talking over the heavy metal music in the background.

Even if this was to be my life for the next twenty eight years, it seemed like a home in this foreign world without magic coursing under my skin. As the day wore into night, the bar was packed with people. A group of people were occupying the pool table, Melanie was at the karaoke machine with crowds of men drooling over her body barely covered by a dark red dress sitting just above her knees, and James was at the counter tentatively conversing with a few friends about whatever a shy teacher talks about with his friends. My headache grew stronger with each shot I downed from behind the bar when I was sure no one was looking.

I felt myself heaving my body around everywhere by the time 3 A.M. rolled around. Riley shyly directed the hordes of drunk, horny people out the door for me, while I locked the back door. I staggered my way to the door, to be led out by Riley.

"Do you need help getting home?" she asked.

"I'm…fine," I mumbled before I lost my footing once more and fell to the ground on my knees. She yanked me back up and walked me to my apartment two blocks over. 

"Want to come up with me," I slurred. She flinched away from my breath and helped me up the stairs.

"That’s not a very good idea. I’ll see you tomorrow. Please try not to drink on the job again?" She unfastened her arm from around me and walked back to wherever the hell she lived.

I barely made my way up the stairs without falling flat on my face. I struggled to get my keys in the lock, and when the door finally gave way to my struggling, I closed the door and fell flat onto my futon. I groaned before forcing myself up and to my room, where I passed out fully clothed, barely able to keep my nausea at bay. This was my life now. I should really stop drinking while working. 

* * *

  
I admit, it got a little lonely after the first couple of days, but I never paid attention to it. It was just a small noise in the background of more important things on my mind. My life conformed to a routine, as I’m sure everyone's has.

Sundays were never special, but I always got groceries on Sundays. Mondays were when Melanie threw herself at me unrelentlessly, but I usually didn’t indulge. Usually. Tuesdays were when I got stupidly intoxicated and flirted with anyone who crossed paths with me, and it usually worked. Wednesdays were nothing, Thursdays were when I cleaned the apartment, Fridays were when I spent all day at the bar cleaning and sulking at my loneliness, and Saturdays were laundry days. That was it. Sometimes a little more, sometimes a little less, but my days followed that pattern.

I’m not sure what day it is now, but I never really pay attention to it, time passes so quickly. I was in The Looking Glass once more. I think it's 11:00, but again, I don’t pay attention to that very well.

Melanie was sitting beside me on her evening off and I think it's Monday. "Another round?" Melanie asked. I barely heard her over the constant buzzing in my head. "Roni?" I snapped my head towards her and sighed. "Fine," I grumbled. She nodded and reached behind the counter to grab the bottle of scotch I’ve been drinking. I couldn’t help but glimpse at her climbing over the counter, ass almost hanging in the air. I swallowed a growl rising in my throat as she sat back down. She knew exactly what she was doing. Damn it, Rumplestiltskin. I returned home that night with Melanie's crop top snagged in my hands with her lips seizing my neck. We collapsed onto the futon with her grinding her hips against my waist on top of me. Why did I ever trust that disgusting demon of a man.


	2. Why Am I So Difficult?

Melanie

If you asked me, I'd say my life was just okay. My job is fine, Schaffer is usually on my tail about my outfits and unruly behaviour, but it's old news by now. I had fun with Roni occasionally, and she still ignores me when I ask her out.

My life is okay, but I’m being kept on a leash. I can’t travel like I want, Roni won't acknowledge me unless I’m tangled in her bedsheets, and Schaffer tells me to stop partying every night, but I always tell him something like 'Old habits die hard,' or I’ll mutter 'You can’t tell me what to do.'

I’m not sure what I was doing yesterday to give myself a hangover as bad as this, but I think I was at Roni's place. Schaffer always told me to stay away from her, but I ignored him, as always.

I don’t remember when or how I met him, but he was a mentor to me, always. He offered me a job when I told him I was having trouble paying rent, so he offered me a spare room at the inn for less than an apartment cost, and got me a job at his diner.

He tries to teach me things like how to cook and clean and all this, but I only try to do what I’m paid to do. It’s like he's training me to be a servant.

Instead, I like taking pictures. I’ve been trying to take online college classes to get better and find my footing, but I barely have any time. Schaffer sometimes lets me take a day off when I have important papers due soon, and I’m grateful for all his help, but I don’t think he likes my career choice at all.

He's training me to run the diner when he retires, but I refuse to take it seriously. I don’t want to be tied down anymore than I am in this town.

I balanced the glasses of water and chocolate milk on my tray, and the clock struck five. I hurriedly gave them their drinks, snapped my apron off from around my waist, and ran out the door, calling back to Schaffer that my time was up and that I’d see him soon.

I passed Micheal and his son Aaron on the street, holding a lollipop in his small fingers.

"Hi, Aaron," I greeted sweetly, crouching in front of his face framed by red hair that almost matched my red streaks in my own hair.

"Hi, Miss Lucas!" I smiled kindly up at his father before replying.

"Please, call me Melanie." He smiled bigger.

"I got a lollipop," he exclaimed, taking it out of is mouth and showing it to me.

"Ooh, that looks delicious. What flavour is it," I asked.

"It's…orange." He looked up to his father, who nodded back at him.

"We better get going now, Aaron. Say goodbye to Melanie."

"Bye Melanie," he called. His father nodded courteously and took the boy's hand. They weren’t the most fortunate of families, but she could tell that Micheal was really happy, money or not.

I continued on to the Rabbit Hole. I saw a few familiar faces blur past me, but I kept going, I needed to see Roni.

She was sliding a bottle of beer to a plump, intoxicated-looking man staring straight at the cleavage poking out of her white t-shirt. She ignored his drunken stare and popped an almond from the basket at the bar into her mouth. I ignored the hopeful feeling tugging at my insides and walked up to her.

"Can I get a burger please?" Her head snapped up to look at me. Her dark eyes glowered at my face and over my red outfit.

"Fine," she mumbled. She wrote something out on a notepad and went to find Riley. She might've been really clumsy in high heels, especially when carrying a tray of shots, but she was an excellent cook. Out of all the jobs she could've gotten in town, she chose the one that involved drinking and social interaction, which was surprising, coming from the shyest person I’ve ever met. But then again, this town was too small to know many more people.

Roni came back out with a glass of dark liquid grasped in her fingertips, swishing around seductively.

"You look like you could use this," she said.

"Thanks?" I took a quick sip and waited for the burn down my throat, but it never came. Instead, it was sweet.

"Apple juice? Really?"

"We had some extra juice in the back, and you really did look like you could use it." She was barely smiling at me, but it was clear she had trouble keeping her face straight. I rolled my eyes.

"Why do you bother wearing that half-outfit in here anyway? You know how many drunk and horny men come in here looking for as much skin as possible."

"Half-outfit?"

"Well, it covers only half your body." I instinctively pulled my shirt down further down to cover my stomach from her dark stare.

"I wear these all the time, why stop now?" She looked like she was considering it and took a swig of scotch from her own glass.

"Are you free tomorrow," I asked,"I have a day off work, and I was wondering if-"

"No. I told you. I don’t do dates." My shoulders fell and my bottom lip quivered just a bit.

"Maybe you might after you take you out one." She glared at me.

"No."

"Then what _do_ you do?"

"You. I do you. That’s all."

"C'mon, it'll be fun. Why not get out of the bar for a bit?"

"Because this bar means more to me than you do," she replied coldly. I flinched and gave her five dollars, climbing off my bar stool and leaving for the door.

"Wait," she called out. I stopped a foot from the door and pivoted in my red sneakers.

"Fine. I better be pretty damn impressed."

"I can pick you up at four," I said. I flashed her a bubbly grin and left. When I got away from the window facing the sidewalk, I pumped my fist and skipped home with so much enthusiasm, Roni would cancel immediately.

Roni

I was losing my focus on reality. The effects of the curse were slowly consuming my mind with more fake memories than real ones. Going out with Melanie was all part of the curse, I had just been rejecting everything the curse wanted me to do, until the consequences waltzed in with fake memories to give me and force-fed them down my throat.

I bent over the counter in my bathroom to fix my makeup in the smudged mirrors. I tousled my hair once more before adjusting my dress and descending the stairs to Melanie's scarlet Camaro.

"Hi," she said in a cheery voice that made me want to throw up cotton candy. She handed over a single rose to me, as red as I imagined her heart to be.

"Alright then, dear, you told me you could make me enjoy myself on this date, so blow my mind." She leant over across the seat and laid her hand on my thigh, leaning in to kiss me.

"Not like that." She grumbled and faded forward, hiding her grimace behind a pair of sunglasses. She put the car in drive and sped off.

"Where to first," I asked.

"I thought we could go for a walk," she said, turning into the parking lot of the inn.

"Down Main Street?"

"Yes. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, I guess." She took her keys and walked around to the other side of the car to let me out. I smiled lightly at her and grabbed her arm to tangle in mine. Her head shot up like I burned her, but instead of pulling away from me, she beamed at me.

The spring sun shone down on our faces and a small breeze swept through her long, curly hair.

"Want to stop for ice cream," she asked, pointing at the small ice cream shop in front of us.

"Sure, why not." I let her drag me in and watched her face light up again at the sweets. If I actually enjoyed myself, I’ll have to remember that she loves ice cream, or anything that makes her eager like this.

"What are you having," she asked over her shoulder.

"Mm, vanilla," I said. She looked at me like I hit the windshield of her car with a bat.

"Out of all these choices, you choose the most boring flavour?"

"Classic," I corrected. She shook her head.

"Boring. Come on, you should try something new. How about peanut butter?"

"Too salty."

"Bubblegum?"

"Too sweet."

"How about coffee? You like coffee, I’ve seen you drink it before."

"Fine, I’ll get the coffee, now get off my case about ice cream." She backed away and giggled. I couldn’t help but playfully smile back.

"Next time you’re with me when we're getting ice cream, I’m making you get something more daring than coffee." She spat the word like it was a horrible book she read.

"Next time?" She didn’t listen.

"You seem like a rocky road gal, or maybe tutti frutti."

"Melanie, stop. If it’ll make you stop complaining, I’ll get rocky road." I could see her physically trying to stop herself from jumping up and down.

"Thank you," she said in a high voice she spoke in earlier when she saw the ice cream. She hugged me, and I froze up.

"What was that for," I asked after she unwound her arms from around my waist.

"Because." She went up to the counter and ordered.

"I’ll pay," I told her, sliding over my credit card to the woman with dark brown hair and dressed in a pink frilly dress that a nine-year-old would be jealous. I could tell she was Bo Peep.

"I had it under control," she whispered, but I was the one who refused to listen. I waved her off as she stared at me in half-shock, half-amusement. She gave it back to me and handed us our ice cream. Red dragged me back out of the store.

"How does it taste," she asked hopefully.

"Relax for a second, I haven’t tried it yet." I tentatively licked the chocolate ice cream.

"That's actually really good," I whispered in defeat. She grinned and giggled.

"I told you so," she bragged.

"Shut up," I ordered half-heartedly. she kept laughing and sang _We Are the Champions_ as we walked back down the street.

"To the woods," she sang at the sky playfully.

"What’s in the woods?"

"Our next destination for our date."

"Really? You could’ve told me to bring proper shoes at least."

"Your ankle boots are fine," she said,"we'll be going on the trail for most of it anyway."

"Most of it?" She turned her head and grinned wide and cautious, waiting for my response. I just tugged her closer with my right arm, while my left held my ice cream.

She led me through the shrubs and up the trails, pushing back tree branches blocking our way and breathed deeply.

"This is somewhere you go often?"

"Yeah, mostly to take pictures."

"Oh, yes, your photography. How's that going?"

"It’s okay I guess, but the class I’m taking is getting harder."

"Photography seems like a hard talent, though. You should be proud you can do it."

"I am, it's just I don’t think I’ll be able to get farther than I am."

"I’m sure you'll get farther." She turned to look at me and both smiled and shivered at the same time.

"You should've worn something warmer if you knew we were going to be out here in the evening."

"I know, but I risked it all so you could see more of me," she said in a seductively low voice. It worked, and I couldn’t help but pay attention to the way her jean shorts sat on her hips, or the bit of stomach peeking out from her shirt.

"Of course, 'cause that's worked well before."

"Well, it did last time."

"Oh, sure," I said, gradually leaning closer to her ear. "And I deducted you with my kindness."

"You’re many things, but 'kind' is not one of them."

"Exactly," I whispered. She swallowed thickly and held me tighter. The sun was setting once she veered me off the trail near a wildly disfigured tree and to a little alcove of tranquility hidden among the trees.

String lights hung above our heads in the trees, a blanket was laid out in the centre of the space with a wicket basket on top. A speaker was right beside the blanket, currently turned off. I audibly gasped, something I didn’t do a lot.

"Mind blown yet," she asked casually, but I could tell her heart was racing; I had that effect on people.

"Yes," I said, before I felt my wrist being pulled onto the blanket. She was giggling as she turned on the music and pulled out takeout from my own bar.

"Where d-"

"Riley hooked my up with some burgers and fries. And a bottle of wine she accidentally ordered too much of." I couldn’t get the wide grin off my face as she poured me a glass.

"Congratulations, Miss Blanchard, you succeeded in blowing my mind."

"Thank you, Miss Mills. I’d like to thank my parents, my f-"

"Shut up and pour me wine." She passed me a glass and poured one for herself.

"Thank you, for today. I had a lot of fun."

"I think that's the first time I’ve heard you say 'thank you' before."

"Yes, well you might get used to it." Melanie beamed at me and raised her glass.

"To new beginnings," she said.

"Yes." I didn’t pay any attention to how that worked two ways, and slipped my sweet wine before rummaging around in the basket.

"Yes, I know you like salads more than hamburgers, but I was hoping you would try a burger. If you don’t like it, you can have the salad I packed."

"You want me to try so many things today," I said, laughing. I paid no heed to my heart's health right now and unwrapped the burger from the tinfoil. She watched attentively as I took a bite.

"Again, not bad. Thank you."

"Yes," she hissed to herself. "If you’re not careful, I might make you like everything I have you try."

"Oh, definitely not. You’re just lucky you found something I’d like." I took another bite and savoured each bit of pickle, cheese, meat, and ketchup. "Maybe it’s just Riley's cooking." She laughed.

"Well, she _is_ a great cook."

I finished my burger and fries faster than I would like to admit, but it was all worth it when Melanie asked me to dance.

"Do you even have any slow songs," I asked once some pop song came blasting through the speaker.

"I do. You shouldn’t expect so less of me." She was right, my entire opinion of her changed in the span of four hours, but that may very well be the curse memories lessening my hate for her. She tapped a few times on her phone, and a slow song played.

"Care to dance with me," she asked, standing up and offering me a hand.

"Of course, Miss Blanchard." She led me up and off the blanket and I wrapped my arms around her waist, while she grabbed my shoulders.

"Thank you for making today special," Melanie said quietly.

"Of course." We danced along to the tender voice and soft piano until it was over.

"Another dance," I asked. She nodded her head and changed the music to another song.

We ended up dancing for an hour, and ended it by my cupping her cheek and leaning down to kiss her addictively warm lips and soft skin, relishing the way she hummed when I kissed her throat, or her soft moans when I slipped my tongue in her mouth. I could listen to her forever, spend the rest of my days eating burgers in this isolated square of forest, dancing with her and earning sweet kisses that tasted of red wine and brownies.


	3. Anger’s My Favourite Colour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please send feedback, stay safe, and I hope you enjoy!

Mr. Gold

It was hard to believe Regina could fall for something as easy as that switcheroo was, but she did. By this time next week, I will be in New York bringing Bae back with me.

I wonder what he looks like now. I wonder if he still has my nose, or my eyes, or his mother's lips. Countless years of looking for him, and it all pays off now, playing by my rules.

Being mayor was easier than I thought it would, but I can thank the curse for that. The exact same paperwork shows up on my desk every week, and I fill it out the same way, and I give it to the same person, who files it in the same filing cabinet, while the maintenance workers fill in the same pothole mentioned in the paperwork. It all ran like clockwork, and that's exactly how I like it.

This morning, it was Roni's Bars' rent that needed filing. This Thursday was my favourite, because it distinguishes the power I have over her, the power she would've had if she wasn’t so thick-headed in trusting the most powerful man in both The Enchanted Forest and currently, The Land Without Magic.

"Why the hell are you doing this," Roni shouted. I only smirked at her. She hated how easily I got under her skin.

"Well, Miss Mills, _I’m_ not doing _anything_. You chose to own this bar, and therefore accepted responsibility for paying for the use of the building.

"Well, you don’t have to _raise the taxes,_ you make enough money already, we both know that. You really have to charge _more?_ You know how…"

"…penniless," I offered.

" _In debt,"_ she growled back,"I am. You can give me at _least_ another week, and I can have the money on your desk."

"Why is it that you can't pay it off?"

"You know why." I just simply brushed her away.

"I can give you three days, no more, no less. Deal?" She stared at my outstretched hand.

"Fine." She shook my hand and stood up, nearly taking my hand with her. She stomped towards the door.

"I hope you can forgive me for the _mix up."_ She knew exactly what mix up I was talking about when she threw me the middle finger over her head. I loved pushing her buttons, it's probably the most enjoyable activity I have going on at the moment. Except for planning my trip to the Big Apple.

Other than Roni being a pest in every single thing I do, the curse had been working pleasantly. Belle is alive and posing as a therapist. She's much more…open… than I remember her being, but no less pleasant to be around. I asked her out to dinner for tonight, and she told me she would be delighted, so things will hopefully be getting back to as much normal as a fake town full of modern fairytale characters can be.

I arrived at The Looking Glass, and Lacey was already in a booth, sipping a red wine and flipping through the newspaper.

"Hi," I said. I took off my shawl and coat and sat down across from her. She looked up at me with cold blue eyes, highlighted by grey makeup surrounding her eyes.

"Hello, Mr. Gold."

"Call me…Robert. Robert Gold." I was never given a curse-ordered first name, but it would work for now.

Roni

"So?" Riley was perched on a barstool, flicking through the mail.

"We have three days." Riley nodded and ran back to the kitchen. Wing Thursday’s was always beneficial, and Riley's wings were to die for; that's the same for all her cooking. She always had to prepare beforehand so that everyone could get a serving.

After my meeting with Gold, I went home to clean my grimey apartment before goin back to the bar.

My memories were still foggy, but I’m glad nothing's gotten worse. I was expecting my memory to fade entirely the morning of my date with Melanie, but it only made my memory improve just a bit. I’m not sure which memories have been compromised by this Hell of a curse, but all the rest of mine that I can remember have gotten foggy, like a worn and faded video tape.

Riley handed me the ragged dish towel to scrub the rest of the tables with, before retreating back into the back room, stumbling slightly against a few tables. I chuckled to myself before I reached behind the counter for the counter cleaner.

Once I was done with that, the shipping truck was just pulling up, so I helped unload the cases of alcohol into the freezer storage. By the time I was done, people were already at tables, digging into wings, singing along to the Pink Floyd music we played just a bit too loud, and arguing amongst each other over the baseball game. It always made me happy when the bar was packed and just a little too loud for my liking, but it gave the town a bit more sense of…community.

Riley didn’t like it. She liked hiding in the back making her food, instead of waiting to everyone. I understood her completely. I hated talking to the monarchs attending balls when I was Queen. I liked to be mean and make her bartend for a few days, but she was a great employee.

"Roni, can I get two beers over here." I knew that benevolent voice from anywhere. I turned around to catch a glimpse of her face before ducking below the counter to fish out two bottles from the case of beer.

"Melanie, hi." I jumped up from below the counter. "Who¡s that second beer for?"

"You." I shoved her chest and cracked open both bottles, sliding one across the counter for her, and taking a rather large swig from my glass.

"How's work going tonight."

"Busy, of course."

"Well, that's because it's Wing Thursday. Which I believe calls for celebration."

"Celebration? What are we celebrating?"

"I did my final exam today. I passed!"

"Oh, that's great! We _should_ celebrate. Riley!" Her shy face swooped around the doorframe to face me, curiosity etched on her face. "Can you tend the bar?" I saw her face fall; I didn’t need to hear her over the noise to tell she was grumbling. "Just ten minutes." She lightened up a bit and nodded. She rubbed her hands with hand sanitizer before grabbing the black plastic tray and notepad.

"Come on, let's go to our regular booth." Melanie was clearly having trouble containing her excitement. Her grip on my hand was nearly cutting off my circulation, and she was bouncing with every step. She sat down and pulled me in beside her.

It only took a second before her lips were capturing mine in a heated kiss. I nearly died laughing.

"What," she asked when I pulled away. I completely broke down and put my hand over my mouth to muffle my laughing.

"Eager tonight, are we?"

"I’ve just missed you." I raised my eyebrows.

"I have a _very_ hard time believing that."

"Well, you should, because it's the truth." I rolled my eyes and waved Riley over.

"Can you get us some buffalo wings please?" She glared at me sarcastically, then sauntered away.

"Thanks, dear!" She flashed me another mock angry stare before she turned into the kitchen.

"So how's the Looking Glass? Anything interesting?"

"Nope. Unless getting quesadillas on the menu is interesting."

"I don’t believe it is." She twirled her beer bottle around on the coaster and looked off behind me, doing and biting her lip. I’m not sure what this woman was doing to me, but those little things I found endearing, instead of annoying, like I usually thought they were. I think Melanie might wield magic, because that's the only reason I can think of that could possibly soften me like butter.

When Riley dropped off our wings, we both dug right into them. I’m not sure if she had noticed James walking in, adjusting the glasses on his nose and ordering rum from Riley, but I knew he was bad news, especially if this curse was formulated by the sorcerer who has the audacity to call himself the mayor.

He had always wanted them together in The Enchanted Forest for his potion of True Love, so why wouldn’t he want them together now? My stomach churned and boiled itself down to ashes.

"I’m afraid I have to get back to work now, so I’ll see you around," I said.

"Really? We just got our food."

"I know, but Riley looks really uncomfortable." She was pressed up against a pillar, trying to distance herself from a guy pressing himself against her. "I need to take care of this. I had a great time." She furrowed her eyebrows at me, but shook it off and kissed me, before pushing me away from the booth with a grin painting her face.

I stomped towards the man talking with Riley.

"Do you have a problem with my waitress?" I asked the man. He turned around and flashed me a grin. He was the slimy little bug telling people what to do. He was clearly drunk as a skunk, and took the personality of the doctor he was made to be.

"Nope. I’m just asking her out for a drink. Is she allowed a minute off work?"

"Well, that depends. Riley, _do_ you have a minute off work?"

"Actually, sir, I don’t. If you could please get out of my personal space, that would be greatly appreciated."

"Are you sure you don’t have a minute?" He made a move to grab her arm, but I’ve been graced with good reflexes.

"She said _no._ Do I need to show you what no means, or can you handle it yourself."

"Fine, I’ll back off."

"No, you’ll get the hell out of my bar." That was the time I had thanked the heavens for bouncers. A man with frazzled hair and a permanent look of sadness had dragged him out of the bar. I think he might’ve been the crazy guy with the hat. I can’t really remember them all that well anymore.

Once he was gone, she held a hand to her stomach and exhaled.

"Thank you."

"Of course. I’m assuming _this_ is why you hate bartending?"

"Yes. And there's a lot of shouting."

"I’m sorry. If you want, I’m sure our stock of wings are running low." She winked at me and ran back out of the bar. I returned to the counter and collected the dollar bills covering the surface, when a high-pitched laugh registered in me.

James was sitting in Melanie's booth, sliding too close to her for comfort, and flashing her his famously charming smile. If my blood was boiling before, I’m pretty sure my arteries have exploded by now. What hurt more was that she wasn’t shuffling away from him. Instead, she was hiding her mouth and nose in the top of her shirt, something she only did when she was flirting.

Just when I thought she was softening me, she goes and _flirts_ with him. She betrays my trust for his gleaming eyes. If she were to test someone with this, I’m the last person she should’ve chosen. I can go from content in starting a relationship with her, to wanting to rip out her trachea and hang it up over my bed as a trophy.

I wasn’t angry, I was livid. I was furious, I was irate, I wanted to break every single glass in this bar against both of their heads. Instead of acting on that anger, I did the sensible thing and downed the rest of my beer in seconds. I pulled out a second bottle and didn’t give a second thought to the pretty little princess and her knight in shining flannel. That _fucking_ flannel.


	4. Ignorance is Contagious

Melanie

I was fully aware of James's flirtatious intentions towards me, and I could admit I was a little rash when I flirted back, but I shouldn’t have.

He was no different than the filthy men that pestered me during my shifts at The Looking Glass, but I wanted to see Roni jealous. I clearly made the wrong decision.

She was glaring at us both dangerously. James was clearly oblivious, more than willing to pay attention to my cleavage rather than my date, but I’m sure Roni couldn’t blame him, I’ve seen her eyes wander a little too far before. She definitely blamed him, and even me, by the way she was watching me while tipping back shots. I wanted to make _her_ squirm, not the other way around.

I stopped him when he leant in to kiss me. I quickly informed him I was seeing Roni, and he looked incredibly confused, but went off to join his friends.

Once he was gone, Roni was directly in front of me, frowning with her arms crossed.

"What the hell was that? Are you going to ditch me now?" she growled. No matter how angry she made her face look, I knew I genuinely hurt her a bit. She knew how to tug on my emotions.

"No, I just…I wanted to-"

"-You think some lame excuse is going to fix this?"

"Roni, stop and listen for a second. I just wanted to make you jealous, that’s all. I promise." She rolled her eyes dismissively and left, slinging a dishcloth over her shoulder before leaving for the kitchen, untying the strings of her apron as she rounded the corner. My head fell the table lamely. I looked up after a minute of silently berating myself to catch James smirking at me, before taking a sip of his beer.

Roni slipped out the back door. I stood up too fast for my slightly-muddled head's liking. I rushed to the back, shot a very-confused Riley a shy smile, and pushed open the heavy metal doors. She was leaning against the hood of her car with a cigarette in her fingers. She took delicate puffs of the cigarette before she noticed me.

"Leave. I don’t want to talk to you."

"Okay. When?"

"Never."

"Never? Roni, I was trying to get under your skin, in the hopes that you'd invite me to your place to _claim what's yours._ I didn’t mean to make you so upset, and the silly flirting didn’t even mean anything."

"You think I’d invite you to my place after that stunt you pulled? I need to stop giving you alcohol, it's clearly messing with your judgement."

"Roni, please, I never meant to anger you. I just wanted you to take me home. I was just having a bit of fun making you jealous, but I realize now that I made a huge mistake. I’m so sorry."

"Fun? Flirting with someone when you are _clearly_ taken is fun? Then I’m just going to assume that breaking this off is fun too."

"Roni. Roni, please!" She didn’t listen to me when I called out for her, and just stomped on her cigarette and climbed into her car. It wasn’t until the sound of her car engine was out of earshot that I went back into the bar.

Riley was back at the counter where Roni was, and James was at a barstool with a still-full bottle of beer in his fists. I sat down next to him.

"You know what, I’m not dating Roni," I said conversationally. He turned his head towards me and kissed me harshly. I held onto his shoulder and kissed him back.

Roni

That woman didn’t know when to quit. She pushed and pushed and pushed, and that was the last straw. It would’ve ended soon, I told myself. My hate for her would overrule anything I ever thought I felt. The curse made sure that they would find the True Love they always had, and it was sickening to think about. That the universe had more control over my life than I do.

I hurled a throw pillow from the couch across the room. It hit the wall with a thud, and I fell to the couch with my face in my hands. I tried my hardest to expel her from my head, but I couldn’t. She was there, all the time, flirting with that sorry excuse for a man.

I stood up from the couch and dug around in my kitchen cupboards for a bottle of vodka. I never went as strong as vodka unless I felt the screaming urge to punch someone in the nose.

I downed shot after shot until I couldn’t make the room stop spinning. I smirked to myself and threw myself back on the couch, laying my head down on the armrest and tucking my legs under me.

I could feel the sunlight shining onto my face, but I draped an arm over my eyes and groaned. I tried to pull my blanket up under my chin, but quickly realized that I didn’t have a blanket. Someone chuckled and I immediately shot up and looked for the baseball bat I had somewhere.

Riley was in the kitchen, flipping slices of bacon and humming something to herself.

"Good morning," she said politely, once she heard me stir.

"How are you here? _Why_ are you here?" My voice was rough and my words were still slurring together, from a combination of exhaustion and alcohol.

"Well, you were late this morning, and I know you always come in during the mornings to clean until we open, so I just assumed you were blackout-drunk. I came here, and your door was unlocked, a great sign that you were, in fact, passed out on the couch with an empty bottle of vodka beside you. So, being the good employee I am, I’m cooking you breakfast."

"Not that good of an employee, it seems. You broke into my apartment."

"Didn’t break in; the door was unlocked."

"Still, I never gave you permission to come inside." She chuckled and brought over a plate of bacon and eggs. The smell made me want to throw up. I sat up and rubbed my eyes with a new wave of nausea hitting me.

"Excuse me for a moment," I said as professionally as I could while hungover. I padded into the bathroom and turned the sink on so she couldn’t hear me.

I knelt in front of the toilet and emptied the contents of my stomach. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and brushed my teeth. I could tell Riley heard everything by the way she smiled sympathetically and handed me my plate of breakfast.

I sat down beside her and shovelled down my breakfast. She snickered.

"I can cover your shift until five, then I’m working in the kitchen, whether you want me to or not." I laughed and patted her knee.

"I think I can let it slide. Everyone will miss your curly fries." She blushed and snickered before gathering my dishes and left.

I forced myself to stand up and snatched the bottle of aspirin left on the counter, most likely put there by Riley. I smiled and opened the cap, shaking out two pills and I forced them down my throat. I found my purse on the counter next to the aspirin. It was buzzing, and I could already tell who it was. I pulled out my phone and was met by Melanie's name lighting up the screen. I let it ring, and was notified with a voicemail. I reluctantly listened to it.

_Roni, it’s Melanie. Please talk to me, I never meant to upset you. Please call me back. Bye._ I rolled my eyes and deleted the voicemail, before turning my phone off and slinging my purse over my shoulders, making sure I locked the apartment this time.

Melanie had the _audacity_ to show up at the bar, despite the 'closed' sign hanging loosely on the window. I grumbled.

"Sorry Miss Blanchard, we're closed."

"I’m aware of that. I’m not here for a drink."

"Oh please, I’m done talking to you. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm busy." Melanie didn't leave, or even make I look like she was. Instead, she sat at the barstool nearest to me. I walked around the counter and wiped the booth seats. "If you missed the hint, that means 'get out of my bar.' Now." Melanie sighed, and once more, pursued my attention. She didn’t deserve my attention. She's just as bad as Snow White. Maybe even worse.

"I don’t want to leave. It was a mistake, flirting with him, leading him on, all of it." Now, she's piqued my interest.

"No, go on, what else? You said 'all of it', so I’m assuming there's something else." Before I could think what else she could mean, she spoke quickly and I nearly missed it.

"I slept with James and I was being stupid and I was way too drunk." My hands involuntarily curled into a fist. I chuckled darkly.

"You _what?"_ My hands were now white as a sheet. She started panicking, and she was as pale as my hands.

"It was a mistake, a big one. I was so drunk I could barely see, and I don't even remember it. As far as I can remember, I didn’t even get close before he was climbing off of me and pulled his clothes back on." I felt the familiar urge to stab them both multiple times with a nearby fork.

"Leave before I run you over with my car," I growled.

"Excuse me?"

"You. Heard. Me. I don’t ever want to see your face in this bar again." She scrambled away and looked over her shoulder one more time with dread and heartache. That look alone nearly made me jump from my seat and kiss her hard and tell her I forgive her. But I didn’t. If there was one thing I was good at, it was holding my ground. That, and acting like everything was okay.

I forced my tears back and got back to scrubbing the seats with a renewed vigor.

Melanie

I lied to Roni. I had a choice to tell her, and I knew she'd feel sympathy for me, but if she were to forgive me, I don’t want her to do it because she feels bad for me.

I did remember the encounter, but I didn’t want to retell it. I had told him no. But that no turned into an involuntary yes when he pulled me into my room with his fingernails biting into my wrists. I knew I couldn’t fight him, so I thought, if he doesn’t listen to me, I might as well try and enjoy it.

I didn’t enjoy it at all. He was insistent, and yet he didn’t pull me over the edge. I took a shower and let the searing water wash away my dried tears.

It could’ve been worse, though. He wasn’t rough with me, but that was probably because I did what he wanted. If I objected further, I feel like I wouldn’t get up from my bed for days.

I had trouble walking properly, and I still had finger-shaped bruises from where he pulled me to my room, but I’m fine. I repeated that steady mantra in my head enough times that I started believing it.

I was close to telling Schaffer what he did to me, but I didn’t. It wouldn’t matter anyway.

I stormed out into the street just as people were starting to flood through the doors of the bar. James was one of them. I tapped him on the shoulder.

"Can I talk to you," I asked. He smirked charmingly, but I now know what it meant.

"Sure." I pulled him to an alley between the bar and the pharmacy. He was immediately all over me, face in my neck, kissing down my collarbone.

"James stop." He didn’t, he just travelled lower. "Stop," I yelled, loud enough to make anyone walking past turn their attention to us. He caught on and backed away from me. "I don’t want to do this anymore."

"Why? We had fun last night," he said cockily.

" _You_ had fun. I didn’t. I told you to stop and you didn’t. I don’t want to talk to you about this," I said shakily. If he heard my voice crack, he didn’t show it.

"Fine," he said simply, before walking away. I exhaled and closed my eyes. Relief washed over me and I returned to the inn.


	5. Blaming You Won’t Solve Anything

Roni

For two weeks, I refused to go to The Looking Glass to do my laundry, in favour of avoiding Melanie. I couldn’t even think of her without growling. She did what Snow White does best, and absolutely destroyed anything but hate inside me, so I did what _I_ do best. I took it out on everyone else and let myself boil in disdain for the _brat_ who screwed me over once again.

How did I think I could trust her in the first place? If there's anything I need, Melanie- or any friends- aren’t one of them.

Except for Kiera and Riley. I only just met Kiera at the bar, and I don’t know much about her. I know she works at the pharmacy on Main Street, and she has two dogs, but she really wants cats. She can’t have a cat, because she's incredibly allergic. We’ve become fast friends, and we usually get lunch together every Thursday, but we only ever talk about work or how good Schaffer's cooking is. I need those two women, and nobody else.

All my memories are fuzzy and hard to see, like looking at your reflection on a dirty spoon. I brushed it off as just being a delayed effect of the curse, but I cast the curse four months ago. If this was the curse messing with me, I probably wouldn’t have my memories in the first place. I've ignored that fact to the best of my abilities, and I’m still blaming the curse for my fuzziness.

Instead of spending all of my Saturday on the floor with a bottle of tequila in my hands, I did my long-overdue laundry at Riley's apartment. Her loft may be old and ‘rustic,’ as she called it, but she had a washing machine and dryer.

I quickly shoved the rest of my clothes into the dryer and went back into the kitchen, where Riley was at the counter, nursing a mug in her hands. She had another mug beside her.

"Coffee?" she asked, gesturing to the mug with her elbow. She nearly bumped it off the counter, and widened her eyes in surprise. I chuckled.

"Got anything stronger?"

"Always," she laughed. "What’re we wanting on this early morning," she asked mockingly.

"How about a bit of brandy?" She straightened her face when she heard me. Somehow, she knew exactly what I was thinking.

"Melanie doesn’t deserve any space in your mind. If doing shots until you pass out at eleven AM will help, then I’m more than willing to do that." I twisted my mouth and nodded. She hopped off her stool and dug around in a cupboard until she found a half-empty bottle of amber liquid. She fumbled for the shot glasses in another cupboard. She filled them both up and raised her glass.

"Cheers," she said half-heartedly. I snickered.

"To bitches who don’t deserve me," I added.

"I’ll drink to that," she muttered, before downing the contents of her glass. She filled them four times more, before I remembered I had to drive home. I waved her off, and she brought the rest of the bottle to her lips and drank the little bit left at the bottom. I'm not sure how, but I ended up on the floor, beside Riley. I laid my hand over my belly and closed my eyes. A friend told me that stops the dizziness. I opened my eyes and turned my head to face Riley, who was staring at me with wide eyes.

"How can Melanie just _brush you off?_ You’re hot," she said, like it was obvious. If there was an doubt in my mind about Riley being who Mary Margaret was supposed to be, that was gone. I realized just how much she actually listened, how she cared.

"She didn’t brush me off. She said she was flirting so she could get my attention, and then in her grand scheme, that would make me take her home." Riley snorted rather loudly.

"Rule one in the rulebook of lesbians. Never flirt with anyone else," she said.

"I’m not lesbian." She raised her eyebrows. "Bisexuality, dear." She nodded.

"And if I was? Lesbian, I mean."

"Oh, I know." Riley's eyebrows raised even higher. "You think you’re so subtle, yet I can see you gushing over Lacey from the confines of the kitchen." Her cheeks flushed a deep shade of pink. She stumbled over her words for a few seconds, before I silenced her. “You should ask her out, then.” She blushed even redder.

“She's with Mayor Gold, I think.”

"You _think._ You don’t know, and I’ve only ever seen Mayor Gold _looking_ at Lacey. He's never actually talked to her in the bar.”

“You said it yourself, love sucks and everyone who's happy in love can go die.”

“Yes, but you should have hope. Unless she breaks your heart. In that case, all women suck.”

“You know what, I’m gonna do it tonight when she comes into the bar.”

“Perfect. If it doesn’t go well, I’m always available," I joked.

“We should do that," Riley drunkenly slurred. “If Lacey turns me down, we should date. We'd be the best fucking couple in all of Storybrooke.”

“We would," I credited, “but if we break up, what’ll happen with the bar?”

“We can promise that if we break up, we’ll keep it civil, stay friends, and I’ll be the best cook in the entire state of Maine, at the best bar in the entire state of Maine.”

“You know what, deal. Why not? What could go wrong?" I laughed and turned my head back to look at the ceiling. The room stopped spinning, and I could feel my legs more prominently, so I told Riley I’d walk home, and that I get my car and my laundry later.

The cool September air bit my hands and nose, but it was tolerable. I stumbled across the street to the other sidewalk, and I could hear a horn honking as I crossed. My body was suddenly being pulled by something, and my vision became fuzzy again. My feet caught on an elevation change, and I felt my body crash to the ground. I could feel with my cheek, that it was smooth concrete. Probably the sidewalk. Beside me, someone was gasping.

“What the hell are you thinking, Roni?! You were nearly killed!"

“Melanie,” I regarded icily. She pulled me off the ground and sat on the edge of the sidewalk.

“Seriously, what was that?”

“I’m just a bit intoxicated,” I told her. She chuckled humourlessly.

“At noon? You were less than a second away from being flattened by a truck.” I spaced out and tripped over my own thoughts.

“I was?”

“Yes. I should be thanked.”

“I’m in no position to be giving out thanks, and you are in no position to receive them. Especially from me. Now, good day to you,” I stood up, and nearly fell back over.

“And you aren’t in any position to walk yourself home, apparently," Melanie muttered, before standing up and clamping onto my arm to lead me back home.

“If you think you can just be forgiven like that, you are sorely mistaken.”

“I’m not expecting an apology, though that’d be nice. I’m just doing something kind.”

“For once,” I muttered. If she heard me, she didn’t comment anything further. She stopped me in front of my building and let go of my arm.

“Do you need me to come in, or are you going to find a way to get hit by a truck?”

“Ha ha,” I said dryly. “I don’t need a babysitter.”

“Maybe not, but I need you.”

“I don’t care what you need anymore.” I spun around and opened the door to the building, but her defeated sigh didn’t go unnoticed.

Once I was in my apartment, I collapsed face-first onto my couch. I didn’t want to think about her any more, so I closed my eyes and eventually fell asleep. I wish I could tell her how much I hated her, but something stops me every time. Maybe I can just settle for getting my point across in action. Maybe I couldn’t tell her, because I’d be lying? Or maybe I’m too drunk to think clearly.

Melanie

Two weeks later

Roni was a difficult woman. She never served me when I showed up at the bar, she didn’t answer my calls, or my texts, and I can’t seem to find her anywhere, other than her bar.

I was glad I saw her on the street two weeks ago. She wasn’t well, and we were both nearly crushed by as much a reckless driver as Regina was a reckless woman, but she actually talked to me. I never told her, but the car scratched the backs of my calves, but that wasn’t important. She was most important. If she doesn’t want to talk to me, I’ll let her be, but she must know; I don’t give up easily, especially when it comes to her.

Every time I thought about Roni and what I did, I felt nauseous. I even threw up a few times. Even thinking about James and his hands on my body made me nauseous. Maybe I’m just sick in general. That, or they make me sick.

I’ve tried staying away from The Rabbit Hole, or any other public places. I’m probably just paranoid, but I don’t want him anywhere near me, and the thought of lots of people and socializing made me tired.

I wiped my face with my washcloth and draped the wet cloth over the neck of the sink. I felt nauseous again, and I ran out of Tums, so I dug around my medicine cabinet for my Gravol. Instead of medicine, a small pink box caught my attention, and I nearly threw up again. I looked down at my belly and nearly started crying.

I ran to my bed and pulled my phone off the charger, as my breath got out of control. I was nearly panting when I started scrolling through my phone until I found Regina's number. I called, and when she didn’t pick up, I called again and again. She picked up after the seventh call, and I could hear the irritation drip from her voice like poison.

“What do you want,” she demanded. My heart picked up an even faster pace, and my brain couldn’t pick up on what I wanted to say.

“Roni, I-I’m in trouble, and I need your help. Please, please, please, you need to help me, I don’t know how to do this, and I’m screwed, and I can’t-I can’t-“

“Slow down,” she instructed gently. I almost forgot she wasn’t mad at me.

“I’m pretty sure I’m pregnant,” I sobbed. I heard rustling on the other end of the phone.

“That fucking _bastard,”_ she growled. “I’ll be there in five.” Then the line went dead. I rushed to the toilet and expelled my stomach’s contents.


	6. I’ll Show You ‘Heartless’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW ahead! 
> 
> Please send feedback, stay safe, and I hope you enjoy.

Roni

I may not have been paying attention to the speed limit, or even other cars, as I floored the gas pedal all the way to Melanie’s apartment. I couldn’t even remember being mad at her anymore, every hateful bone in my body was focusing on the very man who couldn’t care less about what woman want when he sticks his-

A blaring siren cut off my gruesome thoughts and I nearly honked back. Instead, I pulled over. I inhaled frailly and sighed as Landon strode up to my window and tapped twice on the glass.

“Well, if it isn’t Roni. Care to explain why you were going nearly fifty miles an hour on Main Street, sister?”

“Let me go with a warning please? Melanie needs me and I know my mistake, I’ll go slower, and you know me, I’m a good driver. Please? She needs me.”

“I’ll have to ask you to run a breathalyzer test before I can let you go, but if you’re clean, I’m letting you off with a warning; next time you’re getting a ticket,” Landon promised. I smiled briefly.

“Yes, but please hurry,” I pleaded. He nodded and went back to his car to search for the breathalyzer. He came back and held the stemmed nozzle in front of me. I quickly breathed out and Landon waited for a moment.

“Alright then, you’re free to go,” Landon said.

“Thank you so much,” I called to Landon’s retreating back. I pulled away from the curb and drove significantly slower, but no less rushed. I parked my car outside the apartment building and hurried inside. I buzzed for Melanie’s room, and she answered quickly. The door clicked open and I ran right through to the staircase. I took the stairs two at a time, while an older lady watched me curiously. I didn’t pay attention to her, instead thinking about Melanie.

Her door was unlocked when I pantingly darted into her apartment. Melanie was sitting in the middle of her kitchen floor, knees curled up to her chest. Tear tracks ran down her pink-tinted cheeks, and her nose was more red than her eyes. A positive pregnancy test was sat in front of her, taunting her. I always hated it when someone cried, but Melanie looked so pure and innocent. I immediately wanted to punch something, preferably James.

I didn’t say anything when I sat down beside her and hugged her waist, because I couldn’t think of anything that would make things better. I’m not sure how long we were sitting on the floor, but by the time Melanie pulled me off the floor, my bottom was sore.

She pulled me over to her couch and sat me down, before climbing on after me and laying her head on my lap. She silently sobbed into my black skirt, but I didn’t care. I stroked her hair while she muttered words into my clothes.

“What did you say?” I asked her. She reluctantly pulled her head upright and her bottom lip trembled as she whispered,"I told him no. He didn’t listen. I didn’t fight. I should have.” She hugged me again tightly, as I fully processed what she said.

“I’m going to kill the horrible excuse for a human being if it’s the last thing I do,” I muttered darkly and responded to her embrace. She chuckled through the wet tears, but her chuckle turned into another choked sob. I didn’t ask for details when I pulled her off the couch and through the hallway.

“Come on, you need some sleep,” I said gently. She pouted but followed me into her room, where she stripped from her red skimpy outfit and traded it for red flannel pyjamas. She barely let go of me when doing so, and I waited until she was ready for bed when I left her room and shuffled down the hallway.

“Can you stay with me tonight?” I heard Melanie’s small voice ask from a crack in the door.

“Of course, as long as you’ll have me,” I answered her. She almost smiled and opened the door wider for me. She gave me a pair of shorts and a t-shirt to wear to bed. When I finished changing, Melanie was already in bed, smothered by the sheets. I stifled the snicker in my throat and laid down next to her. She turned to me and immediately wound her arm over my waist and curled into me.

“He got me drunk. I didn’t know he wasn’t drinking until I remembered seeing his untouched beer.”

“May I ask how much you drank?”

“A beer and a scotch. Enough to be a little tipsy, but not enough to be oblivious to what was happening.” She stuttered as she told me the rest of her tale, how she begged him no, how she ached for days, and how she wished it never happened, that she would accept death if it came to her. She even admitted to thinking about death, taking away her pain, but dismissed the thoughts.

I always wanted her to know what I went through with her father. I told myself I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemies, but I did on Snow. I wanted her to understand how I felt every single night, how disgusting and defaced I felt afterwards, but now that it actually happened to her, I would kill someone to reverse time and prevent James from laying a hand on her.

I stroked her milky cheek and said that I wouldn’t let anyone lay a hand on her ever again, and I meant it. I recounted for her my worst encounter with a drunk Leopold, and we both cried as I told her about the scar I got on my lip when he slapped me, the bruises on my thighs, the fingernail indents from his greedy fingers on my hips, and my soreness for nearly a month afterwards. We both fell asleep with tears dripping onto the pillows.

I woke up disoriented, cold, and a blunt pain in my belly. Melanie was not in the bed beside me, but I heard the shower running in the bathroom, with a muffled sound in the background. The shower turned off and the sink started running.

Melanie came out of the bathroom with dry hair and a pained look etched on her fair face. I reached my arms out of the bed towards her, and she smirked and came back into bed in front of me. I rested my nose on her neck and had my hands wrapped around her abdomen. I sighed contentedly and heard Melanie shuffling.

“Morning,” I whispered gently. She made a small “mmm,” sound and moved my hand from her belly and put it on her thigh instead.

“Oh, sorry,” I whispered. She shook her head and made another small sound, before placing her hand on top of mine and drawing circles over it. “Can I ask you some questions?” I asked her. Her body tensed up against me for a moment, then she relaxed and nodded.

“What do you think you’re going to do with it?” She froze up again and turned around to face me.

“I’m not sure,” she breathed. I could hear the terror in her voice, and could only hold her close to my body as I rubbed my hands up and down her back.

“Whatever you choose, we’ll figure this out.”

“We?”

“You really think I’m not going to be here through everything?”

“But you were so mad at me, and you had a reason to be.”

“I know, but I’m not leaving your side anymore, at least not after I kick James’s sorry little-“

“Roni, I don’t want you to do that.”

“Why not? He deserves it!”

“He absolutely deserves it, but I just don’t want you to. Please?” I sighed and pouted.

“Fine, but I may have to take up kickboxing.”

“Roni, I told you-“

“I’ll use a punching bag, don’t worry.” She chuckled to herself and nodded.

“Can we not talk about him? Or the…fetus. I just want to have a nice morning with you without them both ruining my mood.”

“Of course. I don’t think I’ve ever made you my apple french toast, I’ll have to make it for you.”

“No, you’re my guest. Let me make you something.”

“I’m not a guest, I’m your girlfriend who wants to make you breakfast, as long as you feel up for it, of course.”

“I’m your girlfriend?” The way Melanie asked the question made my heart break, like she couldn’t possibly believe that I wanted.

“Of course I am, aren’t I?”

“Yes. I just didn’t think you’d want me now that things have changed.” Melanie sat up and pecked me on the cheek before getting out of bed and pulling me up after her. She led me into the kitchen tentatively.

“I’d never do that,” I told her. “Do you feel like eating?” She twisted her slightly-smiling mouth in thought, and nodded. I ran my thumb over her twisting bottom lip and put my finger under her chin.

“Are you…okay with kissing me? I just don’t want you to-“ Melanie silenced me by planting her red lips on mine quickly, then pulled back.

“I’m fine, I think. Kissing anyway.” I nodded and completely understood what she meant. I wasn’t sure how she could stand being touched, even if it was just hugging like last night and this morning. I asked her that as she dug out a frying pan from a cupboard, and she turned around rather quickly.

“Because I knew it was you. Your hands are soft. Not like his. I can tell it’s you.” I nodded and watched her patter around the kitchen looking for dishes and bowls.

“Here you go, Mills. Wow me with your cooking.”

“I won’t settle for anything less than perfection for you,” I retorted. She chuckled and strode into the living room.

Melanie almost looked the same, but she wasn’t. Her eyes were blank, her smile wasn’t as vibrant, her voice quieter and more reserved, she didn’t usually speak more than a few words in a sentence, and she looked a few inches shorter than she was. I sighed and cooked up breakfast, and decided to make up a mug of peppermint tea for her.

When I walked into the living room, she was curled up on the couch with her hands over her flat belly, and she was shaking again. I set down her plate and mug of tea and sat down beside her. I pulled her hands off her abdomen and rubbed them with my own. She was still shaking, but she tried smiling.

“I don’t know what to do. I’ve always wanted children, but I’m not sure I want a living reminder of him,” Melanie muttered, most likely to herself.

“I’ll be here for whatever you decide,” I told her earnestly. She nodded and looked up at me with large, teary eyes.

“I’m sorry for burdening you with all this. I’m sure you don’t want to hear about my sob story, and remind you about your old…?”

“Husband,” I said shyly.

“…husband. I don’t want to weigh you down, so I don’t blame you if you leave.”

“Didn’t I already tell you? I’m not leaving. Ever. I’ll be here for everything. I don’t care if it reminds me of him, it doesn’t hurt as much anymore. I’ll be here to help you with this, because I didn’t have anyone to help _me_ with it. I’m falling for you, and I won’t leave unless you ask me to.”

“Okay,” she said plainly. She leaned forward and took a sip of her peppermint tea and cringed.

“Morning sickness?” I guessed. She nodded and hurriedly leapt off the couch and sprinted for the bathroom. I didn’t care what Melanie wanted at this point, James needed to have his face bashed in.

* * *

I didn’t end up finding him in the bar. He was just walking down the street like all was fine. Not for long. Melanie was still in the drug store, so I had time to confront him before she came back out. As I passed him, I brought my hand up to his collar and pulled him into the alley between Granny’s. He clearly couldn’t tell I was angry, and grinned at me knowingly, growling slightly. I grimaced and barred my teeth to him as I brought my knee up to his crotch. He bent over and gasped as I pulled him upright and held his neck, while punching him square in the jaw. I ignored the stinging in my hand as I elbowed him in the groin. When he was bending over once more, I used my forearm to bring him back upright and choke him.

“I don’t fight women,” James said huskily.

“Like hell you do,” I growled,”what you did to Melanie, that wasn’t hurting her?”

“She never said no!” he exclaimed desperately.

“Bullshit. She said she told you ‘no’ many times before she gave up. You couldn’t even tell she didn’t want it?” He looked at me dumbly and coughed slightly. I rolled my eyes and pushed all my force into his neck. He clutched and grappled at my arm miserably, choking and coughing out.

“Roni, stop it!” Melanie called. She rushed into the alley with us and pulled me off James. “What did I tell you?”

“Melanie, please leave,” I told her calmly, still holding James by the throat.

“No, we’re _both_ going.” She pulled at my waist and arm and I let go, but not before slapping him and turning abruptly, not sparing the man a second glance as Melanie desperately pulled at me. “What the hell was that,” she demanded,”I told you to let him be!” I didn’t answer her as I let her lead me off back to her car.


	7. Royally Screwed

Melanie didn’t talk to me until we were back at her apartment, when we were still in her car.

“I told you to leave him be,” Melanie exclaimed.

“He deserved it.”

“He may have deserved it, but I really don’t want you fighting him, or him fighting you.”

“You expected me to just act like everything’s fine? He _physically violated_ you. You expected me to _not_ punch him square in the jaw?”

“No, I expected you to listen to me when I told you that I didn’t want you to defend me. These are my battles, and I can fight them however I want.” She had me there. I bit my tongue and forced down my arguments as I nodded.

“I’m sorry. Can I make it up to you?”

“How?”

“Let’s forget about…everything going on and do something. You can go take your test to make sure, but then I’m going to take you somewhere other than the apartment.” Melanie looked down at her hands and timidly nodded, while picking at the edges of the cardboard box. I tapped the face of the box twice to make her look up at me.

“You should probably take the test now,” I told her. She sighed and scrunched her nose, but nodded and grabbed her water bottle before leaving the car.

“Can you come with me?”

“Of course. Whatever you need.” I followed her out of the car and to her apartment. She didn’t bother slipping her shoes off, she just took a large gulp of her water bottle and handed it to me, before going to the washroom. I stood with her water bottle for nearly ten minutes, until Melanie came out.

“Three minutes?” I asked.

“Just two.” She put the test on the counter and impulsively straightened it out. I put a hand on hers and turned over her palm, so I could intertwine our fingers.

“I will be here no matter what.” She smiled, teary-eyed. We both watched the clock on her microwave without saying a word until two minutes passed.

“We’ll look together,” I suggested. “Close your eyes.” She nodded and squeezed her eyes shut. I did the same and reached for the test on the counter. I held it in front of us both.

“Three. Two. One.” We both opened our eyes, and staring us straight in the face, were two faint pink lines. Melanie dropped the test into my hand and covered her mouth with a shaky hand.

I put the test in her garbage can and hugged her tightly.

“We’ll figure this out. You can do whatever you want with it.”

“I don’t know what I want. I can’t support a child, but I’ve always wanted one. But I don’t know if I want to keep it, I don’t want a real-life child to remind me of the mistake I made. And what it becomes just like James?"

I didn’t know what to do. I could’ve told her everything would be okay, but it doesn’t seem like it. I led her over to the couch and sat down, putting her across my lap and hugging her waist.

“Do you think you’re still up for going out today?”

“Yes please,” Melanie murmured back. I kissed her cheek multiple times, moving down to her neck and collarbone.

“You are so brave,” I whispered.

“I am not.”

“You are. You are handling this really well.”

“I am?”

“You are,” I repeated. “Now we should get going if you want to get out of the apartment for a while. Melanie climbed off my lap and pulled me up after her. When I was standing on my feet, she kissed me deeply and wound her arms around my neck.

“I don’t deserve you,” Melanie whispered.

“No, I think it’s the other way around,” I said honestly. She chuckled and pecked me again, grabbing her purse of the counter.

“I’ll be okay,” she said. “We’ll be okay.”

“I’ll make sure of it,” I told her. We went back down to the car and decided on getting Granny’s, then going to the park to eat.

The restaurant wasn’t very full, but Melanie seemed paranoid. Her shoulders were nearly touching her ears and she was looking at every sudden movement in the room, from Micheal and Aaron waving, to Schaffer scurrying around the kitchen with the coffee pot.

She really wasn’t kidding when she said she didn’t want anyone touching her but me, and even then, she said she isn’t ready for anything more than cuddling. If Rumplestiltskin never ‘accidentally’ mixed up the curse, then I would’ve hated her even more than I did in the Enchanted Forest. Because of this screwed-up blessing, I grew to love Melanie, but in turn, Melanie was violated. By her own husband. Once this curse is over, Charming is one fucked-up man. Better for my cause, I suppose, but not for Melanie.

Once we got our order, we both rushed out of the diner, Melanie with tears brimming her jade eyes. When we got into the car, she looked out the window and discreetly wiped at her eyes. I kissed her shoulder and started the car.

The park was empty, so we easily found a spot under a tree to eat. Melanie didn’t eat much, but I was betting her morning sickness reared it’s ugly head again. After lunch, Melanie was feeling sleepy, so she rested her eyes for a bit, while I layed beside her and tangled my fingers through her short hair.

She woke up an hour later and profusely apologized for falling asleep.

“Dont worry about it, you needed to rest. You look cute when you sleep anyway.” Melanie gasped and hung her mouth slightly open.

“I am not!” I didn’t want to fight her on this, even though I would win. Instead, I started cleaning up our stuff to leave and let Melanie sleep at the apartment.

“I can’t, I have a shift tonight.”

“Do you _have_ to go?”

“Yes, I do. I haven’t taken a shift for a while.”

“How long is ‘a while?’”

“A day,” Melanie admitted. I chuckled and sighed.

“I’m not going to tell you to stop working, but you need to take care of yourself.”

“I know,” she said sadly. “I will. And you’ll be there to make sure of it.”

“Hell yes. I also have a shift tonight, so I won’t be lonely,” I said humorously. She grinned and giggled slightly. “For now, you can rest in the apartment.” Melanie didn’t seem to keen on doing that, but she looked tired. Honestly, I was too, a little bit. Melanie insisted on driving us back, but it was less than five minutes, so I didn’t bother telling her I was incredibly afraid of her crashing my car.

I wondered what David was doing in that moment. What he was thinking, what woman he was staring after, but honestly, I didn’t want to know. I don’t want inside the minds of horrible people like James or Leopold. Instead, I’ll sink my nails into their minds and still fail to understand the excuses they throw around.

Once we reached the apartment, Melanie collapsed onto the couch and fell asleep fast. I sat at her feet and listened to her breathing. The small sounds she made in her sleep stopped me from leaving and killing James. Too bad I don’t have magic here. It would’ve been nice to rip his heart out.

Then I got an idea. I wasn’t sure if Melanie would actually want to do this, but it was worth a shot. If she _didn’t_ want to do this, then I would benefit from it.

In the past, I could admit I didn’t handle my anger well; I didn’t need a therapist to tell me that. I still don’t handle it very well, but at least I haven’t killed anyone yet. Maybe I won’t be Melanie’s saving grace. She’ll be mine.

She shifted in her sleep and slipped slightly off the edge of the couch. I pushed her back slightly and put her legs over mine.

I remember this one evening in the castle, only a few weeks after my wedding, when Snow fell asleep on my lap with a book. I almost left her on the couch for someone else to deal with, but I carried her back to her room instead. I found it a burden at the time, but a lot more recently, she’s been a blessing.

I had to wake Melanie up for work after a half hour, but she looked more energized than before. I couldn’t say the same. I took my car, while Melanie took hers, and after a bit of debate, Melanie would come over to my apartment.

Riley had already opened up the bar when I got there, and was reluctantly mixing drinks behind the bar.

“You can go to the kitchen now,” I told her. She snickered and grinned as I replaced her behind the counter. Sundays were the slowest days, so I was able to lock up early, with some trouble from a very intoxicated Lacey. I’d rather deal with drunk Lacey than drunk James.

* * *

“Why are we at the gun range?” Melanie asked.

“Because I need to take care of my anger, and I thought you would too.”

“Not by shooting a gun!”

“Relax. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to, but we’re shooting targets; not humans.” Melanie twisted her mouth in thought.

“I’ll try it, I guess. I’ve always wanted to try a gun.”

“Really? I didn’t think you were a ‘gun girl.’”

“Not a ‘gun girl,’ just curious to see what it feels like when you shoot one.”

“Then it’s your lucky day, Princess.” Melanie rolled her eyes and elbowed me in the ribs as we went inside and to the back, where the instructor showed us how to use each gun. After we were done, we put on the noise cancelling headphones and began shooting. After a few shots, I looked over at Melanie. She was frowning as she shot the target, and between shots, she sometimes let her hand stray to her belly. She wasn’t showing quite yet, but she was convinced she was.

After she was finished with her round, I took off my headphones.

“What ar you thinking?”

“I think I might want to keep the baby. I don’t know quite yet, but this is as good a time as any to have a child, aside from my…financial situation.”

“You know if that’s the problem, I’ll help you.”

“No, I don’t want your money. If I’m going to have a child, I don’t want to rely on someone to help me do it.”

“Okay, but if you ever need it, ask me and it’s yours.” Melanie smiled softly and nodded. “Are you going to tell James?”

“No. I can lie to him about how far along I am or something. I can’t even face him by myself, let alone raise a child with him.” I nodded and scrunched my nose.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to do something about him?”

“I’m sure.” We put on our headphones and started shooting again. _Prince Charming is_ royally _fucked. I might have to thank Mr. Gold for doing me a service._


	8. Unfitting Form of Punishment

I worried about Melanie a lot. Even when I was with her, she was still quiet and nervous but exceptionally so around everyone. Melanie had to make a deal with another waitress at The Looking Glass so she never had to serve a man who was sitting by himself, the only man she’s been able to be alone with was Schaffer.

He was very understanding of Melanie and her situation when she told him, but wanted to know everything. I didn’t blame him, but Melanie said she was a little uncomfortable with it all. To help, I drew her a bath to calm her nerves. She insisted I climbed in with her.

Most of her marks and bruises were gone, but she had numerous scars and one yellowing bruise on her back. She could tell I was staring, but she didn’t tell me to look away. Instead, I kissed each permanent mark and told her that she can remember me kissing them so that the memory of getting them would get replaced by this one. Melanie laughed and sunk her body into mine, making sure I continued until each and every mark on her body was tended to. Like every day, I wanted to stomp James’s kneecaps backwards.

I didn’t lie to myself, I missed my old Melanie. She was bold and bubbly and could change your mood faster than you could tell her to talk slower. I still loved Melanie just as much, but she wasn’t the same as before. She was more shy than Riley, she got scared if she asked for the simplest things from you and she wanted love and affection. I would too if I ever experienced a night like she did.

“How are you feeling?” I asked her.

“I’m okay, I think,” she said softly. “Sleepy.”

“Then rest, honey.”

“Honey. You haven’t called me that one yet.”

“I’m not usually a fan of using pet names,” I admitted.

“Why?” I froze for a second, but immediately kissed her head.

“I don’t know why. Just because.” Melanie turned slightly and kissed my shoulder, then looked me in the eyes for a moment. She turned back around and drew patterns on my calves.

We got out of the bath and wrapped ourselves in towels as Melanie looked for a snack. She dug out two oranges from the fridge and peeled hers as she sat next to me on her couch, resting her head on my shoulder and taking small bites out of her orange slices. I ate my orange faster than her and left to find my pyjamas.

I dropped my towel and put on my panties, looking for a pair of pyjamas when I heard Melanie enter almost immediately after me. I smiled to myself but didn’t turn around as I pulled on my clothes.

When I turned around, Melanie was still in the doorway, eating the final piece of her orange. I smiled at her and reached out my hand to her. She smiled back and grabbed my outstretched hand, bringing it up to her lips to kiss the back of my hand, going up my arm until she was close enough to kiss.

“I have the morning shift tomorrow,” Melanie said after our kiss.

“I go in at three.” She nodded and looked down at her feet. I brought her to the bed and climbed on, waiting for her to join me. She hurriedly climbed the bed and draped her left side over me.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

“For what? You’re helping _me._ ”

“Everything.” I kissed her forehead and brushed my fingers through her hair until she fell asleep.

* * *

I don’t know what woke me up, Melanie’s quick and laboured breaths or the scurrying noise on the sheets from beside me. After I looked to my left, I realized both sounds came from Melanie.

She was curled up, grasping at the sheets and breathing heavily, looking around the room looking for something; what I would bet my money on was James.

“What can I do?” I asked Melanie. “How can I help.” I scooted closer to her slightly, but she moved away from me. I realized she needed space and moved off the bed entirely. The room was dark, but I could clearly see her eyes stop darting around the room to look at me. Her big deep eyes brimmed with desperate tears.

“I’m guessing you had a dream?” I asked Melanie. She nodded and opened her mouth to speak, but the only sound coming from her was a strangled sob. I almost got back in bed but stopped when Melanie flinched.

“He was there, but he…hurt me more than once. We were somewhere weird, there was a castle and lots of trees. I think we were the king and queen of the castle but I don’t know.”

“Did you notice anything weird about him?”

“He talked about our daughter. Does that mean that I’m having a girl? He also had longer hair and strange clothes.” I almost laughed. She dreamed about the Enchanted Forest? I didn’t think that could happen. But then again, I didn’t know someone who can’t physically age could get pregnant.

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No! I just need a second.” I nodded and watched her catch her breath. She was still crying when she nodded to me, but I made sure she knew she wasn’t alone. She was still very careful and stayed away from me, but as soon as I was on the brink of sleep, she clung onto me and kissed my collarbone. The last thing I remember feeling before sleep was her wet kisses mixing with both of our tears.

The next morning, Melanie was in the restroom doing what I thought was washing her hands, but I could hear her coughing behind the sound of running water. I got up and found my clothes on the floor near the foot of the bed and changed. I was nearly done when Melanie came out of the bathroom and smiled at me before frowning.

“You’re leaving?” She asked in a small voice.

“No, I just wanted to change.”

“Why do you have your purse?”

“I needed to find my phone. I’m not leaving you.” Melanie still looked uneasy but nodded. “Hey. I don’t want to leave. If I did, I already would have.” Melanie met my insistent gaze and smiled.

“Okay. Can I just ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Am I being too...attention-craving? If I am, I’ll stop, but I just-“

“You aren’t being too affectionate or anything. You just wanna be loved and you deserve it. I really like spending time with you and, I never was one for ‘cuddling,’ but you’re always really warm.” Melanie laughed, and it sounded so bubbly and happy, it gave me hope that she was still down there after everything James put her through. “Are you hungry? I can make you breakfast.”

“I think so.” I grabbed Melanie’s hand and led her out to the kitchen where I started making pancakes and she sat on the counter behind me, watching me with glossy, moss green eyes. I grinned back at her and held her clasped hands.

“Are you feeling better since your dream last night?”

“I think so. You helped a lot.”

“I’m glad.” I pecked Melanie’s nose and turned back to the batter in the glass bowl.

It didn’t occur to me just how much Snow changed me. I’m supporting her through a pregnancy, helping her deal with her experience with sexual abuse, and actually hugging her. If I never cast the curse, Snow would be dead and rotting on the side of a dirt road near my palace by now. Once this curse breaks, I’m going to owe my life to that woman, as long as she’ll have me.

I made our pancakes and served them up with extra whipped cream like Melanie asked, but none for me; whipped cream tasted weird. As soon as we both finished, Melanie got dressed and checked the time. She had fifteen minutes until her shift started. She tried convincing me to let her get coffee on the way, but I told her that having coffee when you’re pregnant isn’t a good idea. She sighed and pouted the rest of the way down the elevator and to our cars, but I want her and the baby safe.

“Will I see you tonight?” She asked. I nodded.

“I’ll be off work at seven, so you can let yourself into my apartment.”

“Actually, I think I’ll meet you at the bar.” She grinned at me, so I could only smile back and hug her.

“That’s great, but I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“I’m always uncomfortable, but I want to see you.”

“Haven’t you seen enough of me yet?”

“Nope. Not even close.”

“Am I not annoying?”

“Not even close,” Melanie repeated. She quickly kissed me and waved me off as she climbed into her red car. With seeing so much of Melanie wearing all shades of crimson, every time I see something red I think of her. At least anyone can tell where her car is in a parking lot.

I got into my own car and drove back to my apartment. After getting Melanie’s phone call about her possible pregnancy, I haven’t been to my apartment much. We both went there a few times, but I mostly stayed at her apartment. I have laundry I need to do and dirty dishes I probably need to wash. I wish I still had maids to do housework for me.

My apartment looked the same as it always did, but it just felt more lonely, with my small bed, even smaller bathroom, and single couch and coffee table in the living room. Why did I have to be cursed with being lonely? Couldn’t I have been drunk but helpful like Lacey?

_It’s the most fitting punishment,_ I thought, _but I’ve already been lonely for years now._ I felt hungry, so I looked around in my fridge and everything was nearly expired. I just shrugged and pulled out a cup of yogurt that had a little too much liquid for my taste, but I could eat that or a block of cheese.

After I finished my yogurt, I went to my room to collect my garbage bag of laundry and a twenty dollar bill from my nightstand. I hauled out my garbage bag and descended the stairs with the bag over my shoulders and something hard digging into my shoulder blade. I put the bag into my car and drove to the Looking Glass. I went in through the back and talked with Schaffer while I loaded up my laundry. I pretended to not notice him staring longingly at my underwear.

I went around front to order some food, and none other than Charming himself was sitting dead centre in the diner, with nobody else in the room. Nobody but Melanie, hiding behind the cash register, tears steaming down her fair cheeks.


	9. A Welcome Kind of Change

Melanie must’ve heard me when I went into the diner part of the building, because her gaze immediately turned to me, with her stunning hazel eyes burning into mine. The physical sight of Melanie crying behind the register hurt me in the heart.

James didn’t seem to know Melanie was hiding, because he was still at a table, reading through his phone, waiting for service. Nobody was around, so I expected Schaffer and Melanie to be the only ones working this morning. James didn’t notice me either, or if he did, he didn’t seem to show it.

My eyes drew back to Melanie, still crouched low on the ground, trying to hold whimpers in the back of her throat. James was oblivious to the silent chaos unfolding, simply scrolling through something on his phone.

I wasn’t sure what Melanie wanted, but I didn’t need to be told three times that Melanie didn’t want violence. I snuck back around to the laundry room, where Schaffer was sorting through his white and dark clothes.

“Schaffer, I need you out front.”

“Whatever you need, Melanie can help you out.”

“Mel is hiding behind the counter because James is the only person in the room with her,” I informed him quietly. He dropped the sock he was unfolding and immediately rushed passed me, to the door.

“Why didn’t you say so before?” He asked me bewildered. He was almost running to the cash register, but I couldn’t sneak behind, because James was already at the counter, almost peering over to see behind the register, while Melanie was shuffling away quietly.

“What can I get for you,” Schaffer asked coldly.

“A medium coffee, one cream, no sugar,” he answered just as harshly. I was watching the scene fold out from the doorframe of the diner. Melanie was sat in the corner on the floor, shakily beckoning me with an unsteady finger. Schaffer clearly saw the movement and very subtly tilted his head to Melanie.

“Excuse me,” I said, ducking down behind the counter making it look like I need something. I crawled on the sticky floor to Melanie, where she was nearly jumping up and down, waiting for me. When I sat beside her, she immediately hugged my arm and used the sleeve of my coat to muffle a tiny, barely audible sob. Schaffer bussed around the kitchen making the coffee and finally slid the finished coffee across the counter to James. He left wordlessly. As soon as the door shut, Melanie went back to hugging my arm as she burst out sobbing.

“I-I’m sorry for ruining your sleeve,” Melanie said.

“Don’t apologize, honey.” Melanie let go of my sleeve and hugged my waist instead, tears trickling down her face.

“Am I overreacting?”

“Of course not,” I told her. “Don’t ever think that. Ever.” Melanie nodded through the tears. Schaffer sat on the other side of him and held out his arms to hug her. Melanie looked at him over her shoulder and looked conflicted. She hugged me tight once more, then jumped into Schaffer’s arms, now sobbing into _his_ shirt. I wondered what Snow would do to me if she knew she was hugging the man who I framed for killing her father. That didn’t matter at the moment, as long as Mel found solace in anyone. I didn’t care for him, along with nearly everyone in town, but if Melanie needed him, then I guess I can tolerate him and his slight, obvious ogling. I stroked Melanie’s hair as she cried into Schaffer’s shoulder, now realizing that Mel was special; I would never willingly sit on the floor of this distasteful diner and have these unnamed substances on the ugly tiles stick to my clothes.

Schaffer eventually had to deal with the early-morning breakfast rush, but he said we were free to sit behind the counter or in the staff room. My back was hurting against the wall we were sitting against, so I —as discreetly as I could— led Melanie to the big green couch in the staff room.

Schaffer called in another waitress to work in the morning, as long as Melanie took the shift during the dinner rush. She agreed to do so and copiously thanked the waitress covering her shift. Nobody came into the break room, other than Schaffer forcing her to have a piece of french toast and a glass of orange juice.

After a little while, I offered to take Mel back to hers or my apartment, but she whined and said she was comfy where she was. I chuckled softly and pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead, then her nose. Melanie tugged me closer like I was her teddy bear. I would be her teddy bear 24/7 if that’s what she wanted. After some amount of time, Melanie’s grip on my loosened as her tears dried over her sleeping face. I grinned brightly and kissed her cheek, tasting salt, as I loosened her arms from around my waist. I picked her up off the couch, bridal style. I only picked her up once before her run-in with James, but I definitely noticed a change in her weight, even _with_ the baby. I was rarely ever scared, but this change in Melanie made me scared. I just tried convincing myself it was her morning sickness that made her lighter, even if I knew I was wrong.

Schaffer waved at me as I carried her through the diner.

“Call me when my clothes are done,” I told him seriously. He nodded in confirmation as I struggled and eventually pulled open the door. “Let’s take you home,” I whispered soothingly to Melanie. I nearly dropped my purse when trying to open Melanie’s car door, but I kept her safe and got her into the car and buckled up.

I went around to the driver’s side of my car and got in, buckling myself and driving back to my apartment. I had six hours until I needed to get to work, but I could easily give myself a small amount of leeway, as long as Riley got there on time.

Once I got home, I put Melanie on the couch, following her and leaning her body on top of mine.

Melanie had her insecurities about herself. She always tried apologizing for her behaviour, her want to be around me (she wouldn’t listen to me when I told her that I wanted the same, to be around her all the time,) and everything she thought was wrong for her to do. I loved her, but someone needed to knock some sense into her. Maybe Schaffer can stop her new habit of apologizing for everything.

———————Melanie———————

Roni had to go to work, so I stayed at her apartment. I had the energy to go to the bar this morning, but now I didn’t.

Sometimes I completely forgot I was pregnant, but then I got a migraine, or I felt unusually tired, or morning sickness wracked my body. I wish I could do that with James.

I was being a baby about the whole situation. Anyone else would’ve moved on by now, and surely wouldn’t be as clingy with their girlfriend as I’ve been. I didn’t wanna be, but I was afraid of being alone. I didn’t want him finding me.

I was afraid of so many different things now. I was afraid of being without Roni, I was afraid of having to decide the fate of the baby, I was afraid of James, or any men other than Schaffer, I was afraid of being alone, and I was afraid of myself. I didn’t want to mess things up with Roni, so I made sure I was doing things right. She always told me to stop asking if everything was okay to do, but I can’t. At this point, I wouldn’t be able to live without Roni; that was my biggest fear.

After I woke up from my nap, Roni said she was leaving for work and that I was free to eat anything and call if I needed to. I didn’t want to bother her, so I turned my phone off altogether.

Roni’s apartment was nice, albeit a bit small. I didn’t feel like doing anything, so I grabbed Roni’s pillow and sat on the couch, hugging it to my chest. It smelled like her shampoo: coconut and apples. I buried my face into the pillow and breathed deeply. Some people may find it creepy, but I want Roni here.

I didn’t know how impactful James’s actions were until I was with Roni. He made me cling to her like she was my lifeline. He made me think Roni was going to leave at any moment, and so I depended on her until it was an unhealthy habit.

I pride myself in being a non-violent person. I don’t mind an occasional fight, especially if Roni’s involved (she looks sexy in a fight,) but if it could be avoided, I won’t fight. I thought my problem with James could be resolved without violence, but I’m at my final straw. I’m not a coward, but James made me so. The only resolution would be to fight back. I needed closure and this was the only way to get it; I’ve tried everything else, why not give it a shot. I suddenly had my energy back.

I didn’t know where James would be, but I assumed he was just getting out of school. I couldn’t fight him in my red jean shorts and white crop top, so I looked through Roni’s wardrobe.

I found a pair of her leggings and a Nirvana band t-shirt. After putting them on, I tied the bottom of the shirt into a knot to make it more of an outfit for me. I looked over myself in the mirror and promised that I would wear more of Roni’s clothes.

I took my Camaro so I could find James easier. Even just thinking about beating the shit out of him makes me feel so much better.

I don’t know what was going through my head when I thought of my plan. I’m a pregnant, sleep-deprived girl with newly-acquired trust issues, especially with males, dependency issues, and trouble with abandonment. But soon, I could throw those labels out the window and I’ll be normal again.

Roni was understanding of it all. I didn’t know how, but she was so calm and collected with everything. Even if she was accepting, I could tell she wanted the old me back. _I_ wanted the old me back. I’m sure Schaffer would want the old me back too.

I found James walking back from the school on the dirt road. I pulled up right beside him, nearly skimming his side with the right side of my car. I braked immediately and tried not to cry. I was alone with James, the very thing that scared me senseless this morning.

I jumped out of the car and angrily stomped around to the other side.

“Hey,” he yelled. “What was that for?”

“I don’t think you should be asking that right now,” I growled back at him.

“What are you doing? What’s gotten into you.”

“Sense. Sense has gotten into me.” I stopped in front of him and stared him down.

“What the fuck are you talking—“ my hand connected with his face before he finished his sentence.

“You should be fucking _glad_ you don’t have your glasses in right now,” I spat at him.

“What was that for?”

“What was that _for?_ ” I asked bewildered. “Do you not remember what you _did to me?”_

“Of course not! We had a great time that night. Are you wanting to do that again? Is that it? Playing hard to get?”

“No. Can you run it through that thick skull of yours? No means _no!”_ I shouted as I elbowed him in the chest, pushing him to the ground.

“You made me like this. I’m scared of _everything_ now, because of you. I thought I’d return the favor.” I straddled his waist and held my arm on his neck.

“What kind of kinky shit are you _doing?”_ James wondered aloud. I laughed loudly, verging on hysterical, as he struggled under my weight.

“You _actually_ don’t get it, do you?” I chuckled once more as I pressed my arm deeper into his neck, hearing him gasp and choke. I felt something hard pressing into my lower back and growled. “This is turning you on? You really _do_ feed off the pain of others.” James still gasped and his face turned red from lack of oxygen. “We have something in common,” I whispered hoarsely into his ear, before leaning back and punching him square in the jaw. My fist hurt, but it was worth it, seeing the blood trickle from his face.

“What the fuck are you trying to accomplish if you aren’t here for sex,” James asked me. He looked like he was going to pass out, so I removed my arm from his neck. He gasped and tried rubbing at his bruising neck, but I moved up his abdomen to kneel on his shoulders.

“I’m getting closure,” I told him. “Now, what are we going to do with you?”

“Fuck me,” James suggested.

“No, I don’t think so. I don’t think I could go through that shit with you again. How about we just...” I wound up to punch him again and nailed him in the nose. The burning ache in my fist turned into a fiery throbbing, so I switched tactics and got off his shoulders to hit a softer spot. James was still hard through his khakis, so I punched him there and he deflated like a balloon. James turned onto his side to curl up in pain, shoving me off his body like a horse.

As soon as I was off of him, he climbed on top of my back and breathed into my ear.

“I may currently have damaged goods, but that doesn’t mean the package won’t get out,” he said hotly in my ear. “You really thought you could get away with that stunt you just pulled?”

I was waiting for my body and brain to shut down like it did last time. It wasn’t an exact instance of déjà vu, but it was pretty damn close. I didn’t stop struggling and took it. I didn’t whisper “stop” defeatedly, and I didn’t feel worthless. I squirmed and wiggled violently under James as I heard a zipper being moved and clinking metal against metal. I moved twice as hard and moved James off of me once again as he was undoing his jeans. We were rolling down a hill into the ditch, on the edge of the forest. I climbed onto him once again and held his head on the ground. During this moment was when I realized I could’ve hurt the baby.

“Never take advantage of a woman _again,”_ I threatened. I punched him in the groin and slapped him once more, before climbing off. James was struggling to stand, so I wound up my leg to kick him in the stomach, but a vehicle was driving in the distance. I didn’t care who saw and kicked him anyway, running to my vehicle to leave.

My car peeled away from the scene, just catching a glimpse of Roni driving by in her vehicle. If she knew what I did, I was dead meat.


	10. You Before Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is all I have written so far for this fic, so updates will continue with a schedule (sort of.)

—Melanie—

As soon as I reached Main Street, I could breathe easy again, but I also felt lightheaded. I hoped James didn't touch the growing life inside me, but It doesn't feel like I'm pregnant; I'm still processing, it seems. Nothing specific on my body hurt, especially my belly, so I took it as a good sign. Nothing specific but my fists.

They were cut and slightly bleeding, so I didn't go to Roni's. If she saw my fists, bloodied and starting to bruise, she'd throw me on the menu and turn me into Melanie-burgers. Even if I don't go to the bar tonight, though, it'll be hard to hide the bruises and cuts until they heal. I grumbled and parked at the curb in front of the pharmacy to pick up a tube of Polysporin and an Apollo bar. Thankfully, the store was nearly empty, except for Kiera, browsing through a magazine at the counter and holding a tissue in her hand. I quickly put my items on the counter and waited. Normally, I wouldn't care if someone saw my bruised knuckles, but Kiera was Roni's one and only friend in town, if she knew what I did, there was no doubt in my mind that she would tell Roni about it. I didn't get off so easy, though.

"Let me check your pockets before you pay," Kiera instructed.

"What? Why?"

"You're being very protective of your pockets, I have to be cautious. Let's see them." I sighed and pulled out a crumpled napkin, a dime, and a receipt, all while trying to keep my palms facing up.

"What's that?" Kiera asks, pointing out a small patch of smudged blood on the side of my hand. I closed my eyes as I felt her forcefully flipping my hand over. I heard her gasp.

"I was protecting myself," I whispered defeatedly. Kiera didn't respond, just rung up my purchase and opened the tube of Polysporin to rub on my knuckles.

"Who were you protecting yourself from?"

"None of your business," I shot back. Keira raised an eyebrow at me. "Sorry."

"You know damn well it _is_ my business, and if it isn't mine, it's Roni's."

"Don't tell her. Please."

"Why?"

"Because it isn't either of your business's, it's mine. Thank you for the Polysporin, and _please_ don't tell Roni about this." Kiera sighed but nodded.

"My lips are sealed." I gave her a small smile. "Unless you don't tell her first," she muttered to herself. I shot her a tiny glare over my shoulder as I left the pharmacy with both items in hand. I went back to the car, looked around on the street, in case James followed me here, then left.

I felt hungry, even knowing there's a chocolate bar on the seat next to me, so I pulled into The Looking Glass regardless. I ordered myself a burger, fries, and an iced tea, hoping that Roni doesn't show up, even if there's a very slim chance of that happening.

I missed Roni, but that didn’t make me want to go to the bar. I just wanted to eat my food, take a nap, and figure out a way to hide my scratches. But for now, I needed to get through each passing minute. Starting my car, turning my key in the ignition, pulling out of the parking lot, and driving to my apartment building.

It was only three o’clock, so I had two hours until I needed to go to work. That would give me enough time to eat, sleep for forty-five minutes, get dressed and make myself look presentable, and find a way to hide my fists. If the marks were anywhere but my hands, it would be so much easier to hide, but I was never coordinated enough to fight with my legs.

I pulled into the parking lot of my building and remained seated, tapping my fingers on the wheel. The only gloves I had were fingerless mesh gloves I wore for my Halloween costume one year, when I was dressed as Red Riding Hood. Maybe I could find some bandages to wrap around my hands and say that I hurt my wrist doing something. Maybe I could blame it on the pregnancy?

I dropped my head to the steering wheel and sighed defeatedly. Regina was smarter than that and would google my pregnancy symptoms before I could say “It’s not that bad.” I admired how protective she was of me, but I didn’t think I deserved it.

It’s not a surprise that I have a horrible self-esteem, Roni tells me as much. Out of everyone in town, I’m criticized the most for my outfits, my behaviour before I started dating Regina, everything about me repelled everyone in town, except for my few friends, Roni, and Archie, the town doctor, that doesn’t mind my outfits one bit. It was impossible to blame myself for my low self-esteem when everyone was calling me a slut behind my back. Sometimes the old, wrinkled elders would say it to my face, if they were bold enough.

If self-esteem issues weren’t enough for me, add on the new features, including vivid nightmares of my raping, abandonment issues, and a severe attachment to my girlfriend.

I had a feeling everyone knew something was wrong. I rarely went out in public, when before, I would go out to the Rabbit Hole every few days with Lacey, a hesitant Riley, and sometimes we’d invite Kiera. If she wasn’t with us, then she was with Roni. They were inseparable, which made me feel so much worse about my unhealthy attachment. Roni hasn’t left the house much more than I have.

I picked my head up off the steering wheel and fought the oncoming headache. They always happened at the same time each day, but this one was early and much more painful. I left my car and slammed the door shut, wincing when I flexed my hand at a painful angle. I shook off the feeling and went around to the passenger seat of my car, opening the door and then the glove box. I didn’t think there would be gloves in there, but Regina has a pair. They weren’t in my glove box, but I could find them in her apartment when I finished my shift at the diner. Roni said she would be finished at half-past eight, and my shift ended at eight. Even if Roni got off work before me, I would easily be able to look for her gloves while she was in the shower. I would just have to wear a hoodie and keep my hands stuffed in my pockets until then. Defeatedly, I went through the doors of my apartment building with my food, hopeful that I could hide this. The Polysporin was already working and my knuckles weren’t swollen anymore. If it continues healing this quick, I should only have to hide my hands until tomorrow. Roni never had to know.

————————Roni————————

“That _imbecile,”_ I ground out. “How could she do this?” I nearly ran into a table as I paced back and forth, playing the image of Melanie kicking a beaten-and-bruised James before rushing back to her car.

“Roni, calm down. You’re just angry, you don’t mean that. It might not have been Melanie at all,” Riley reasoned from another table, squirting table cleaner and wiping the wood surface down with a ragged cloth.

“Nobody has a bright red Camaro with a red glass wolf hanging on the rearview mirror. I’m certain it was her,” I ground out from clenched teeth. “Who taught her self-control?” Riley scoffed.

“Have you _met_ Melanie?” I chuckled darkly, but it did nothing to ease my upset.

“What the hell gave her the idea to beat the shit out of James?”

“Well, what did James do?” I bit my lip. I forgot Riley didn’t know about...everything. She knew there was something going on, but didn’t know the extent of the situation.

“Something bad, but still! She could’ve hurt herself, or worse, James could’ve fought back. Hell, he already _might’ve.”_

_“_ You don’t know that Melanie started the fight.”

“Have you _met_ Melanie?” I repeated back. Riley grinned and rolled her eyes, putting the cleaner and rag away in the kitchen. It was ten minutes until we were open, which meant I was allowed ten minutes to rant until I started serving the old drunks of this one-star dumpster of a town, filled with even more garbage people. Everyone but Melanie. And maybe Riley and Kiera.

“Either way, that girl is dead meat,” I grumbled.

“—Because of James, you are not beating her to a pulp. Unless she’s already—“

“Yeah, yeah, I get it.”

“Why are you so...passionate about it?”

“Because I’m protecting her. She can’t just decide to beat the crap out of someone without any forethought.”

“But she did. Decide to beat the crap out of someone without forethought.” I gave Riley a look that had her glueing her mouth shut. I was crossing my fingers that Melanie was okay, even if I was beyond mad at her.

I didn’t really have a reason to be _mad_ at her, I’m just angry that she said I couldn’t do anything to James, then she suddenly corners him and attacks him. Even worse, the chances of Melanie going off without a punishment if she reported the assault and James shed light on the incident wasn’t as likely as I hoped. What made me mad most of all is that she gave no thought to her or the baby’s health. I decided I wasn’t angry with her, I was angry at her impulsivity. I didn’t have the chance to dwell on my anger, because Riley informed me that the bar needed more beers stocked behind the counter.

————————*————————

My feet were aching as I left the bar, and I made the consecutive decision to stop wearing my heels to work. The night was peaceful, with only a quiet bickering couple in the back of the bar to make the night interesting. As I had expected, Melanie didn’t show up at the bar, which meant she took the diner shift. My anger had shifted throughout the night to worry and slight irritation, with a lot of fear to top it all off.

Even after letting myself simmer down, I wanted to confront Melanie about it. Even if I wasn’t as mad as I was before didn’t mean I didn’t want answers.

When I arrived at my apartment, Melanie wasn’t there yet. She still had half an hour of work left, so I decided to take a quick shower. The hot water felt nice on my aching body, but I felt lonely. I almost always took a shower with Melanie. I wrapped a towel around myself and left the bathroom in search of clothes. As soon as I left the bathroom, I could hear Melanie’s keys jingling outside the door, followed with a few confused grunts and Melanie loudly bursting into the room. I went into my room, watching her as she hurriedly put her purse down on the kitchen counter and bolted to the hallway, stopping when she could see me watching her from my bedroom doorway. I decided I wouldn’t beat around the bush.

“What the hell did you do?” I asked lowly. Melanie’s mouth fell open slightly in shock and her cheeks coloured.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were still at the bar for a half hour more—“

“I saw you today. On the gravel road, near the school. Your car was parked on the side of the road, near the ditch you were fighting James in.” Melanie flushed an even deeper crimson and gasped quietly. She stayed silent.

“What the hell were you thinking?! Do you remember what he did to you? Do you know how _scared_ I was? You weren’t thinking at all! You’re _pregnant,_ for crying out loud! Do you know what I would’ve done if he hurt you?”

“Roni—“

“—do you realize that if you wanted to report this to Landon, he might not be able to do anything? You assaulted him—“

“I know that!” Melanie shouted at me, tears brimming her eyes. “You don’t realize how _amazing_ that felt, though. I needed this, almost as much as I need you. Every single time I hit him, I lost a bit of my fear. I want to be the same person I was before shit went down, and I know you want it too.”

“I love every part—“

“No, it’s my turn to talk.” I bit my tongue as she strode down the hallway. “It was _freeing._ I don’t care if he won’t go to jail, because if I didn’t do this, I wouldn’t have the courage to think about reporting it in the first place. I don’t want to be sad anymore. I needed closure, and closure is what I got. I’m not better yet, but I’m closer. That’s all that matters.”

“That’s not all that matters,” I said, “you’re health is. If you don’t remember what happened to start all of this, he was strong enough to _violate_ you. He’s certainly strong enough to hurt you after you attack him.”

“He didn’t hurt me though! I’m perfectly fine!” I sighed and bit the inside of my cheeks.

“He could have though. You have to realize that you need to keep your impulses in check. You’re not on your own anymore. You don’t have to do any of this on your own, I’m here to take care of you, and give you what you need. I love you more than I can put into words. I can’t lose you.” A small tear dribbled down Melanie’s face and cling to her cheek.

“You love me?”

“I love you.” I grinned at her, taking a steady breath out, gauging her reaction.

“I love you too,” she breathed, sounding almost shocked by the statement.

“I need you to promise me something.”

“Anything,” she said immediately. I smiled and cupped her cheek, swiping away a tear.

“Promise me that you’ll protect yourself like you would protect me. Can you do that?” Melanie bit her lip, but agreed immediately. I smiled at her and kissed her hard, proving all my love to her in the only way I can. She pulled back and gripped the collar of my shirt.

“Then you have to promise that you’ll do the same. Take care of yourself like I would,” She begged. I nodded quickly and felt her hands tug my collar down until my lips met hers in another kiss.

“Please don’t do that ever again. You scared me so much.”

“Okay.”

“As corny as it sounds, I don’t think I could be without you,” I said honestly.

“It’s not corny, and I you.” I smiled a toothless grin and wrapped my arms around her waist, hoping that I never leave this woman. As hard as it used to be to say, before I was swept up in this curse, I couldn’t let go of the woman in my arms.

“Let’s take care of your hands now,” I whispered into her ear. I felt her shiver, then nod. I smiled and got dressed in a robe, then cheekily picked her up to find a bag of peas to ice her hand. I felt her kiss my hair, then dip down and breath on my ear.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you too.”

“I just wish we hadn’t said it for the first time in the middle of a fight.”

“I don’t. It solidifies the meaning.” I could already tell she was grinning as she playfully nipped my ear.


	11. Your Forever Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I uh-I forgot when I last updated...I'm sorry if you were waiting. I've noticed how bad I am at accidentally calling Roni 'Regina.' I promise I'll try and get better at catching that. Please send feedback, stay safe, and I hope you enjoy.

I could hear the shower running from the bed. I didn't know what time it was, but it was late enough for the entire room to be lit with the morning sun. I turned to the alarm clock on the other side of the bed. I saw nine-something. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and curled up further under the covers, hoping Melanie would be done in the bathroom so she can get back in bed with me.

An immeasurable amount of time passed before the door was opened and Melanie emerged, surrounded by flowing steam from her hot shower. She sauntered to the bed, with no towel covering her body. She grinned at me.

"Morning, sunshine. Enjoying the view?" I leaned my weight against my elbow and let the covers slip off my arms.

"You have to ask?" I growled, licking my dry lips as my gaze wandered over her damp body. Her grin formed into a smirk.

"Are just gonna sit there? Or are you going to do something about my _expos_ ure?"

"This isn't some cheesy-porno-dream?"

"I'm very real," she said. I grinned and sat up on my knees, urging her towards me.

"You're sure about this?" She raised an eyebrow.

"I wouldn't walk out of the bathroom without a towel, making sex-eyes at you if I didn't want anything to happen."

"And the baby?"

"Just fuck me, Roni."

"With pleasure." She laughed and gently tackled me to the bed.

* * *

The brightness in her eyes was unmistakeable. Her cheeks were no longer pale and hollow. I had my Melanie back.

I missed her fun spirit. The way she could drag me into something the Evil Queen would scoff and roll her eyes at. She used to talk about travelling the world someday, seeing something outside of Storybrooke and meet her 'other people.' I, according to her, was just one of many of 'her people.' I'm not sure what exactly she meant by that, but it must mean something good if she wants to travel to them. The way she talked about her future adventures with such vivid detail had visions of cerulean oceans dancing behind my eyelids. I wanted to join her. I would follow her to the ends of the earth. She was always beautiful to me, but the liveliness in her eyes made her a siren out for my blood. I was at the mercy of a goddess.

She untangled herself from my limbs and forewent a sheet to cover herself as she rose from the bed.

"Can you make me breakfast please? The baby's craving your bacon and eggs." I sighed and got up, smiling at her enthusiasm.

"Anything for you," I mock huffed. She giggled and dragged me impatiently to the kitchen, where my kitchen was messy and overflowing with dirty dishes.

"You cook and I clean," Melanie instructed.

"Yes, your Highness."

"Your Highness? Why not 'Your Majesty?"

"Because _I'm_ the Queen."

"Doesn't that make me the King?"

"No, your definitely the princess." She rolled her eyes.

"Am not." I narrowed my eyes at her and she shrunk back.

"See? That's why I'm Queen."

"I'll fight you for it."

"I don't fight pregnant woman. I could kick your ass in any normal circumstance." She huffed and shook her head. I narrowed my eyes again and prowled towards her like a lioness. She backed away from me and ended up in the living room.

With a graceful swoop of my arms, I scooped her up and laid her on the couch, getting on top of her delicately and straddling my legs over her hips. Despite her nudity, I had the power.

I gave her my best 'sex' face and growled. She looked up at me with large eyes before I bent forward and nibbled lightly on her ear, while simultaneously cupping the apex of her thighs. She hissed.

She was breathing hard on my jaw and she was visibly flushed.

"You are mine, and I am your _true Queen_ ," I said into her ear. I climbed off of her and went back to the kitchen, while she was catching her breath and adjusting her cropped hair. When she finally left the couch, I smirked at her.

"You win," she muttered defeatedly.

"You should never have challenged me," I told her. Because I truly _was_ a queen. I played my part well. I _was_ my part.

I turned to the stove to prepare the eggs when I heard Melanie run off to the bathroom. Her morning sickness always started right around this time. I dug out another pan for the bacon and made breakfast while I waited for Melanie to come back to keep me company.

She came out just as I was putting the eggs on a plate. She was dressed now in a pair of red shorts that just barely covered her butt and a large white band t-shirt. She held a hand on her stomach and the other was limp.

"God, I'm ready for the morning sickness to be done," she murmured.

"Only one month left. Then you get acne, leg cramps, and a huge burst of energy."

"You did your research," she praised.

"Of course I did. There's also the extremely high sex drive." She side-eyes me while I grin.

"And the larger belly."

"You'll look sexy with the baby belly."

"No, I won't."

"You will _always_ be sexy,"

"I have to disagree. I'll have an excuse to top you, though."

"Nice try, but even with the belly, you will never top me."

"Ever?" She sounded surprised. Like I'd give up being on top.

"Never ever ever, my love." I would never just sacrifice my power like that. Even when she gave me puppy-dog eyes that put babies and animals to shame.

"You're boring." I laughed while she forcefully speared a piece of egg.

"I'm _far_ from boring. I think I proved that this morning, don't you think?" I added a wink for effect and Melanie looked like she was about to choke. "Are you alright?" She cleared her throat and nodded. I smiled at my plate and took a bite of my breakfast. Across the table, Melanie moaned loudly. I looked up and she was smiling.

"I love your cooking. Almost as much as the fetus." I laughed.

"Good. You're both all that matters." Suddenly, Melanie looked like she did yesterday, unsure and small.

"Really?"

"I would never lie to you." I chose to leave out the part that her and everyone else's entire life, job, family, and personality are a giant lie created by myself and Rumplestiltskin. But my love for her is not a lie. "You mean everything to me." She smiled and kissed me on the cheek.

'I'd kiss you on the mouth but I taste like eggs."

"I love the taste of eggs. And you." I raised an eyebrow suggestively and she smiled at her bacon. "So, any plans for today?"

"I have a small shift at the diner today, and I plan on telling Schaffer that I'm pregnant." I smiled.

"Good. I'm sure he'll be glad, as long as you're happy."

"I know he'll be happy. I'm just...not sure how he's going to handle it, knowing it was James. The only other person I've been with since...before _and_ after James, was you."

"I'm sure he will offer to hunt down James with his crossbow, then tell you he's happy for you."

"Yeah." She smiled fondly. "But I'm still not sure what I want to do with it. Since the gun range, I've been thinking about this child more and more. The chances of me being able to support this child throughout it's life on a cheap waitressing job is impossible. I'll either find an adoption agency to talk to or find a better-paying job. Maybe put my degree in photography to good use."

"I told you, I can help you financially, if you need it."

"And _I_ told _you_ that I don't need your money. I'm not a charity case."

"And what if I were to...support this child _with_ you? Then would you accept both my money and my presence?"

"By support this child with me, do you mean—"

"—raise it with you, yes."

"Roni, I can't ask you to do this for me."

"You didn't ask. I offered and I want to. Badly." She looked at me uncertainly.

"You're sure?"

"I've never been more sure."

"But what if...something happens with us? What would I do before the baby is born? And what if it's _years_ before we split up and suddenly we'll have this _child_ we have to send back and forth between us."

"You're fears are valid and I fear they will happen as well, but you and this baby are worth the risk. And I will try my best to love you and support you every day we are together. I cannot make any promises that we won't have our fights, but I will try my best to resolve it with you. I want you. Short-term _and_ long-term."

"Y-you just made a lifetime commitment..." I looked into her sea green eyes and smiled lovingly.

"I'm aware, dear."

"But...you shouldn't make life commitments. _Especially_ regarding me." She bit her lip worriedly and cradled her stomach with her arms. I stepped forward and smoothed out her lip. I kept my thumb on her lip and cupped the back of her neck with my other hand.

"The opposite can be true. You've single-handedly broken down my walls and made me want to commit a life to you. You deserve everything."

"That's not true..."

"It is, and I will spend every day telling it to you until you believe it."

"Stop making life commitments to me! I don't deserve this, or you."

"You have to stop invalidating yourself. I'm trying to say that I will be there for you! I will be there for this child if you'll have me. I will make as many commitments to you as I want, because I will never break them until you want me to."

"I can't...think. This is too much life-talk. I don't even know what we're having for _dinner_ tonight and you're talking about our life with a child." She sounded too much like Snow for me to be comfortable. I shuffled and let her go.

"I understand," I said solemnly. "This is a lot to take in. Think about it. Determine whether you want me in your distant future. I need to get ready for work."

"Roni, wait. I didn't mean I don't want you, it's just too much future-talk for one morning."

"I understand, but I need to open in half an hour. I'll see you tonight." I kissed her cheek and left to get dressed.

I fully understood why Melanie needed a minute to step away from the conversation and think, but it no less irritated me. I offered my life on the table for her, an action I'm not familiar with in the years I've been living, and she still needs to entirely because she doesn't think she deserves it.

I can barely have a conversation with her without her self-worth being mentioned **.** Again, I understood that better than anyone, but she needs to know her worth, because it seems like nearly everyone knows except her.

I took a deep breath and pulled out a pair of jeans and a striped shirt from my closet. I grabbed a bandana off my dresser to tie around my neck before leaving.

Melanie was still in the same spot I left her, muttering something to the baby.

"Goodbye. I'll see you tonight."

"Love you," she murmured.

"Love you too," I said distantly as the door swung shut behind me. I had my hand stuck to the knob as I wondered if I should go back to kiss her goodbye, but I let go of the handle and went down the hall instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stop! I have a question for you! I need your opinion! Should I write smut for this fanfic? Would anyone like it if I did? Please let me know, because I'm...not sure if anyone would like it if I did or not. Thank you!


	12. It All Comes Down To How You See It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! Thank you for the support! I don't reply to comments, but they mean so much to me! I've decided that I'll make a whole chapter with either smut or no smut, so if you aren't fond of smut, that's okay. All the smutty parts won't include the plot, so they'll be easy to skip. Please send feedback, stay safe, and I hope you enjoy!

When I got to the bar, it was like I suddenly switched my brain off. I had no emotions that weren't affiliated with the bar. It was relaxing, not having to worry about anything other than dinner rushes and uncleaned tables. The early-morning cold woke me up as I unlocked the door and that chill followed me through the building until I turned the furnace on.

When I got back from the boiler room, Riley was taking her coat off and adjusting her cream cardigan.

"Morning, Roni!" She beamed. I smiled.

"Good morning. You seem awfully chipper."

"I am. I...got a date with Lacey." She said excitedly.

"Really? I thought Mr. Gold was pining over her."

"Well, they aren't dating, because she asked me out yesterday."

"I'm so happy for you!" I walked up to her and squeezed her hand warmly. "How about a drink?"

"It's...10:00 in the morning..."

"Oh, come on! Why not a little bit of champagne to celebrate? I sure need it."

"Sure." She relented. "Why do you need champagne?"

"Because consuming alcohol when you're irritated is soothing for the soul. Being in the bar is helping too."

"Oh?"

"Melanie and I fought a bit this morning."

"That's to be expected, since yesterday..."

"It wasn't about that." I went behind the bar to the storage room and dug out a champagne bottle. I popped the cork and Riley got the glasses. "Just some petty things. Nothing a bit of champagne can't fix. But this isn't about me. To getting a date with a pretty woman." I raised my glass in a toast.

"And if things work out between us, to hoping we don't fight as often as you and Melanie do!" She raised her glass and tapped it to mine while barely containing her smile. I sneered at her mockingly and took a sip of my drink.

"Just for that, I'm making you clean the washrooms."

"Wait, what?"

"Cleaners, cloths, and scrubbers are in the utility closet."

"I don't want the bathrooms again after last week." I rolled my eyes.

"Relax, I put mouse poison and traps in the bathroom. You'll be fine."

"If I get rabies, I'm suing you."

"It's a good thing I put mouse traps in there then." She huffed in response.

"Can I finish my champagne first?"

"Yes. If it doesn't get done by opening, _I'm_ suing _you._ "

"You can't legally do that, can you?"

"We'll have to see. If it's _not_ legal, I'll just dock your pay for next month."

"Bitch," she muttered smugly.

"Pussy," I said back. She threw back the rest of her glass and went to dig through the utility closet. I pulled out the other batch of cleaner and washcloths and got to work scrubbing the bar. Once that was done, I went around to wipe down the chairs.

Since hiring her, Riley seems to be coming out of her shell nicely. We've made great friends and she's also best friends with Melanie, which could be both a blessing and a curse. She's also been a diligent worker that deserves a raise, if I had the money to do so. If she's brave enough to jokingly insult me, I hope that means she's comfortable around me. I'm proud of her.

A shot of realization shot through my veins as I scrubbed the last barstool. I'm proud of _Wolfie._ The woman who tore apart my royal guard because of her loyalty to _Snow White._

_Snow White,_ my girlfriend. _Snow White,_ my enemy. My two lives, blurring together to make a girlfriend I suddenly wanted to tear the heart out of and kiss passionately at the same time. It was like I was looking at my life from underwater, watching these events unfold in front of my eyes without realizing I've been sharing a bed with the girl that killed Daniel. I'm just now emerging, seeing what I've done.

I thought I had resolved this fight in my head that decided if I loved or hated Snow, but I must not have realized what was happening. Because I wanted to throw a few dozen glasses at the wall at my idiocy.

But I also wanted to throw Snow against the bar and make her legs quiver in the throes of passion. The Evil Queen and Roni were both telling me what to do, like the angel and devil sitting on my shoulders. Both were screaming at my essence, where I am nothing, wanting to mold me into one single person. I didn't know what to do. The Evil Queen was contradicting Roni and vice versa.

"Roni? Are you okay? You look pale." Riley's–Red's–voice asked. Both voices were putting words in my brain that mixed and matched. _Yes, I'm fine._

_No, I'm not_. _You rebelled against your Queen and I will make you pay dearly._

_No need to worry. Could you restock the pretzels at the bar?_

_I will enjoy ripping you limb from limb just as you have_. _Just like a monster._

I've gone over this a thousand times, but I thought I resolved this long ago. I didn't have an identity crisis any longer. But I did, the entire time, I believe. I merely dug myself a deeper hole that I would deal with later. I didn't want to deal with it. I wanted to snap Snow's neck and ask Melanie about her day. I was being hit by a freight train and I couldn't do anything but process this, after I believed to have a processed it already. I realized I didn't respond to Riley.

"I'm just feeling faint, dear." I sat down on the floor, pulled my legs to my chest, and put my head on my bent knees to center my gravity. "Just...keep preparing the bar. I'll be okay in a minute." She scrunched her nose in confusion, but went into the utility closet for a broom.

After many moments, I sorted my memories into two metaphorical boxes: The Evil Queen's memories and thoughts, and Roni's memories and thoughts. I opened the box filled with Roni's thoughts and focused only on her.

Eventually, I lifted myself off the floor and steadied myself on the counter until I was confident I could stop the shaking in my legs.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine." I exhaled forcefully and grabbed the bottle of disinfectant and a wipe to clean the tables.

I previously thought I had my thoughts under control, until the Evil Queen made her return. _Unwelcome return, might I add._

With the appearance of the Evil Queen comes destruction. My life is already quite the mess as it is without her influence.

_No, dear. It's not destruction. It's fun._

Her voice–my voice–chilled me. It's been a long time since I heard that voice, and I can say that after everything with Melanie, I've not missed it.

_I hope you're ready, dear. For months and months, I've been restless. Now, I 'm finally allowed to have my fun._

She had no influence over me. She was my past life and will stay that way. Melanie changed me. More importantly, _I_ changed _myself._ I've gotten far, but the Queen is going to set me back.

All throughout the day, she pestered me. As I cleaned off tables for the next customer, mixed drinks, mopped the floors, she was there. She narrated her thoughts to me, described in vivid, gory detail what would happen to Snow White if she had a say about it, and even raided the box of Roni's thoughts, jumbling the mix of reality and past every now and then.

Melanie didn't visit me at all during work. She said she had a short shift, but I presume she worked overtime. I'm hoping things with Schaffer went over smoothly. If they did, then that gives me one less thing to worry about.

_And one more thing_ I _have to worry about._

Maybe I'll stay in my apartment tonight, without Melanie. I'll get rid of the Evil Queen and make sure she doesn't do something stupid from the confines of my imagination. And Melanie might need the space to think too.

I felt bad all day thinking about the Queen instead of Melanie. I shouldn't, but I do. Getting rid of her has taken top priority. Only then, with her gone, will I be able to be with Melanie and keep her safe. My past self was capable of many things, and ruining my mind and relationships seems like an easy task for her. I felt drained just trying to ignore her and felt dizzy at the end of the day.

"You should have went home earlier," Riley commented as she mopped around the tables. The bar was still bustling with people.

"I was fine staying here," I ground out.

"No, you weren't. I'll finish tonight. You go home and rest." I clenched my jaw but silently left the building. I didn't feel safe driving, but I wasn't keen on walking two blocks, so I got in my Mercedes and started the car. The soft hum of the engine nearly put me to sleep, but the Evil Queen's merciless pounding on the inside of my skull was keeping me from sleeping at the wheel.

I didn't register getting home until I was laying face down on the couch and nearly losing my breath. Before I could fall asleep, I took out a bottle of vodka from my cupboard of alcohol and slowly drank it, straight from the bottle, until I lost my centre of gravity and fell on my bottom in the middle of the kitchen.

The faint buzzing of my phone from inside my jeans registered, but I couldn't make my hand reach back and find it.

_Getting blackout drunk won't get rid of me that easy..._

"Roni, thank god. I've been calling for _hours_. What the fuck did you do?"

"...hmm?"

"Where are you?"

"Hmm."

"Can you even answer me?"

"Mmmhh."

"Fuck it, I'm calling Riley. Maybe she'll be able to form a single word."

My hand lazily dropped to the floor when Melanie's voice left the phone. I slid down from my position propped against the couch, laying down on the floor once more and pressing my cheek to the cool tiles. I sighed, spotting the bottle of vodka a few feet away from me, with a quarter of the bottle left. I clawed my way there, since I had no sensation in my toes and parts of my foot. I've drunk much more in a night than this, and yet I feel the most drunk I've ever been. I have no doubt it's because I drunk more than half a bottle of vodka while I was dizzy, nauseous, sleepy, and irregularly hot. Maybe I took an aspirin and forgot about it. Maybe I'm just kidding myself.

I can't tell how long I was passed out. From how dark the room was, I guessed it was around 3 o'clock in the morning. I can't confirm it, but it's silent enough that I could hear my own thoughts. It's never this silent at any other time. And I thought I left the bar at 5 o'clock, like Riley told me to do. Which means I was passed out for...I'm not sure how many hours that is. A lot.

The Evil Queen is taking a break from being in my head for now, until I get my bearings together and can lift my body off the floor. That's not happening anytime soon.

I wish I had my fridge on the floor. That way I could get something to eat without standing up. Or maybe they should make vodka glasses edible, so after you finish the bottle, you can eat it and it'll taste like candy. This is why I should've been an entrepreneur instead of a bartender. Gold really screwed that one up.

Actually, Gold screwed _everything_ up. If he didn't lie to me, I would have a nice, cushy life in a mansion, with money coming out of my ass from a powerful job as the mayor of an entire town. Instead, I'm left with a trashy apartment with furniture I want to burn, my own business that costs half my salary to keep open, and an internal crisis with my past self who wants revenge on my girlfriend. Maybe the Evil Queen should haunt Mr. Gold instead.

I drank a sip of vodka and it burned down my throat. If I still had magic, I would replace the vodka with water, or maybe coffee. I shoved the bottle away and it tipped over, spilling all over the floor. I couldn't care less at the moment.

I'm not sure how long I was laying there, half asleep, but a bright sliver of light suddenly shone on me. Maybe I was dying. I know you aren't supposed to go into the light, but it looked so...mesmerizing. I wasn't willingly going into the light, however. I was being thrusted into it.

"Roni, you are so fucking dead." My surroundings suddenly changed. The beam of light I was being pushed towards was my hallway light. Melanie was carrying me like a sack of flour on her shoulders, jostling my limp body around.

"So I _wasn't_ dead," I meant to say. Instead, my voice sounded hoarse, so hoarse that a series of grumbling, choking, wheezing sounds escaped my mouth. The lights on my ceiling were backing away as I was lowered to my bed.

"I have so many questions to ask you, but I just want to know why you decided to have a bottle of vodka when you were running a fever!?"

"Fever?" Finally, my voice was able to do something, even if it stung to swallow or breath or talk.

"Yeah, _fever._ You didn't see me running into your apartment? I saw you on the ground and I screamed. You didn't look at me, you didn't respond to me, I thought you were _dead._ I was going to flip you over and see if I could help you, but when I touched your skin, you were burning. I saw your bottle of vodka and I knew you made yet another stupid decision.

"And then what happened?" I asked. My voice wasn't my own and Melanie noticed.

"God, Roni, you sound like a _child._ This actually happened. I'm not telling you a bedtime story."

"Then there is no point to listening." the two sets of Melanie I was seeing rolled her eyes.

"I'm getting you water while simultaneously wondering why I ever decided to date you."

"Okay," I answered back. She eyed me wearily and left. I stared up at the ceiling and slightly adjusted my legs so I didn't feel pins and needles anymore. The air in the room felt hot and humid, and my lungs felt like they weren't breathing in anything at all.

Melanie came back to the room with a glass of water. She held it out to me, but I could barely lift my arm without more pins and needles sensations.

"Oh, for God's sake, Regina," she sighed. She lifted up my head and held the glass to my scorching, dry lips. Once I had a taste of the cooling sensation down my throat, I chugged the rest of my water and begged Melanie for more. She walked out of the room again and came back quickly.

"Once you finish, I'm taking you to the hospital. Then, we are talking about this." That phrasing was never a good sign. Especially with the angry look she was giving me. I sighed. The Evil Queen has met her match, but so have I. The only question is; how much will it cost to be rid of that side of me forever. With my past deeds, it will be a steep price.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't been able to proofread and fix my mistakes, so I apologize for that, but I would also like to add that I do not know the symptoms of mixing alcohol with a fever and dehydration, so this isn't exactly factual. Thanks for reading!


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